Back when I made the decision to start my tarot business, the boss at my “real job” went behind my back and told people that I would fail. After all, who would pay me for a tarot reading?
He didn’t “get me” or my ambitions so he went around belittling my mission to anyone that would listen.
I chose to ignore his negative crap and quit my job immediately (when someone says I will fail, I’m all about calling their bluff without hesitation). Twenty plus years later, my business is thriving. His business died shortly after I left. Funny how that works, right?
What’s not funny about this is that this man went out of his way to piss on my dreams and mock my goals. That was so uncool. In fact, it was demeaning and could have discouraged me if I were the type that listened to haters (I don’t).
I’m not the only person who has experienced this before. I’ve seen many others shot down, had their work ridiculed, and been told that they can’t possibly “do that”. In fact, recently my daughter was discouraged by a well meaning relative from pursuing a career as a writer and was instead pointed towards a menial “secure” job (mind you, she just graduated with an MFA in writing from a prestigious school).
Why on earth would someone do that to anyone? Fear? Envy? Concern? It’s hard to say.
But imagine if us big dreamers let that crap clog up our brains and frighten us into mediocrity. What kind of world would we live in if we all chose to play safe and small?Scary to even consider, eh? Sadly, it does happen more than I’d like to see. I’ve witnessed many earnest people give up their dreams as they allow other peoples opinions stop them dead in their tracks.
When people pooh-pooh your goals, the message they are sending you is this:
- Stay little.
- Don’t rock the boat.
- Don’t show me up.
- It can’t be done.
- How dare you.
- Play safe.
- Pfffttt……
Don’t let that noise deter you. Instead:
- Play big.
- Capsize that boat.
- Be loud and proud – and encourage others to do the same.
- Prove it.
- Dare to be more.
- Take risks.
- Put the haters on ignore.
The world needs big dreamers, creatives, risk takers, entrepreneurs and original thinkers. Will you be one of them? And more importantly, will you cheer on those who are courageous enough to take the leap?
“Keep away from those who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you believe that you too can become great.” ~ Mark Twain
Blessings!
Theresa
© Theresa Reed | The Tarot Lady 2012
Has anyone ever tried to discourage you from going after your big dream? How do you handle this? I’d love to hear your feedback on dealing with belittlers (is there such a word? LOL) in the comment section below:
{ 22 comments… read them below or add one }
Yes!!
Did you see the YouTube video about the two women, Anna Haupt and Terese Alstin, who developed the invisible bike helmet?
One thing they said that I promptly wrote on my big pad of Important Quotes To Remember was, “It’s chicken to be a realist.”
Thanks, Theresa!
That’s hilarious, Grace! I have to check it out!
Thanks for sharing.
I can totally relate!!! Suprisingly my biggest critics were certain members of my own family
As awful as their unacceptance was/is, it really taught me one of my biggest lessons to date…how fundamentally important it is to be true to myself.
Thank you!
It seems that family is often the most critical, Shannon. You have to wonder what they think they’ll accomplish by being naysayers.
My first husband said: “You’ll never get anywhere studying that psychic stuff”. 30 yrs, two magazine covers, an appearance on “Sightings”, and much more,I’m still going strong. Studying “that psychic stuff” worked very well for me!
I can relate Mary – I had an ex who also mocked my career. He always said it wasn’t a “real job”.
I learned HypnoBirthing in preparation for my first birth, and set my intention for a drug-free, calm birth. I remember so many people rolling their eyes and telling me, “Yeah, you’ll see!” While it disturbed me and made me doubt myself momentarily, I thought, “No, YOU’LL see!” And I proved them wrong. I had two amazing, spiritually connected, drug free and calm births, knowing full well it was possible.
I love that Brigit! Thanks for sharing your story.
Theresa, this post makes you one of the “truly great,” as in your Twain quote. I love this inspiration to let the haters go straight to the junk-mail box.
I don’t waste any energy on haters. They are a distraction from my goals.
Sadly, the dreams I used to give up were because I was belittling myself. I was making things up in my head about not being able to do things…being my own worst critic. But, I can recall being belittled as a little girl and I remember my aunt telling me that when people do that to me it’s just because they’re envious of what I have or afraid to look at themselves so they’re busy pointing fingers at everyone else.
This is really an inspirational post…encourages ‘reaching for the stars.’ The sky is limit, go for it!
Oh, I can relate to this Kim – we are often our own worst critics! My belittle voice shows up as a harsh perfectionist. Boy, does that get in the way of me getting things done at times.
I’ve been in this place too. Some years ago, my brother found out I read Tarot and mocked and belittled me in front of all my friends and family at a holiday party. And it was some years ago, when I wasn’t as confident as I am now in what I do. That was tough, especially since I grew up in a family that considered anything psychic or intuitive to be ridiculous chicanery, just weird, or the mark of an unstable mind.
I’m not entirely sure I’ve completely recovered from all of that, but I am confident that my intuitive gifts and talents are spiritually fulfilling, completely valid and are a divine service that I truly love to provide. And now I do fully realize that what my brother did was totally disrespectful and displayed an amazing lack of character and integrity.
I just keep on keepin’ on, and I know that my Tribe are the ones who support me and love me no matter what. I see it as all about knowing my own Truth and knowing that some people’s paths are practically continents away from mine. And that’s just fine with me. I don’t really want the belittlers (good word Theresa!) anywhere near my path anyway!
People have done that to me all my life, so I have retired to a house in the middle of nowhere just to be alone.
I’m 55 now and I’m determined to finally break out of my bubble of loneliness and do something useful and satisfying with my life.
I love to write, I have a vivid imagination and I always search for clues from psychic and other such people to find out what I could do in order to be successful in life.
Well you know that I loved this! Simply going in the direction of making a business around tarot, or ritual or anything “woo woo” brings on the haters each and ever time. I say keep calm, carry on, and show them what your made of-just as you did! Love it! Love you!
Oh, I’ve DEFINITELY been there. I think a lot of times it’s a mix of all three of the emotions you listed – fear, envy, concern – though sometimes it’s much more obviously one emotion. I’ve had relatives pooh-pooh me, not near as viciously as your boss did, & it was obvious it was out of concern; but I’ve had people be straight-up catty behind my back which seems more of a fear or envy response to me.
Anyways, the WHY behind it isn’t important – ignoring the hell out of it is what is! Love that quote from Mark Twain.
When I wanted to leave my safe job as a school teacher to start my own business my husband begged me not to. I finally had to stand firm in my beliefs and say to him: “I honor and value your opinion and I’ll take your words into consideration when I make my decision, BUT it’s my life and I get to decide what I do with it and if I decide that I don’t want to be a school teacher anymore then that is my right.” Once I looked him square in the eye and with a firm, solid tone told him that he backed off and began supporting me. I know it was his own fear that wanted me to play it safe and so when I was able not to take it personally things began to shift. Congratulations Theresa for courageously following your heart! ♥
Hi Theresa.. so impressed that you quit on the spot.. love that. Whatever anyone says pretty much always has more to do with them than us..and we’ve all been there. When I started my private practice 20 something years ago everyone told me I “had” to accept my insurance or I’d never make it.. I knew if I had to deal with managed care, i would never make it. I didn’t take it.. ever.. and have had a beautiful practice with clients that were a perfect match for me and my work.
Only one example but…
You obviously raised your daughter with the same consciousness.. congrats on her MFA..
Love to you..
Lisa/Intuitivebody
Oh how I hate people who belittle. Those who are overly loud and have to try to get the attention of everyone in the room and then put people down to make themselves seem cooler. Great post, may we always remember to be little
Nobody likes being criticized, but it depends how we take it. Will it break us or will it make us stronger? We should never really doubt our capabilities, and that for me is the first step to success. Thanks for the inspirational post, Theresa. xoxo
All that I am is sorrow. I live in this state of sadness. Im depressed & I don’t know how to get my life back. But, I never had a life so then how do you know where to go if you’ve never been there? I was wild, spontaneous and ‘free,’ but that kind of life did more harm then anything. My worst enemy is myself.
I just now had an had this revelation that my mother has a lot to do with this. Although she was loving and did all she could-she also would mock me and call me stupid and even once called me a faggot-and Im not gay, but I was 15 and confused and that really hurt and scared me and caused me to question who I really was?
Iv been trying to ‘get a life,’ (literally) and now in my dreams Im having this woman belittle me in the worst ways whereas when I wake up I almost believe them. The two times I dreamed this, I had contact with my mother on the day before the dream.
This is going to be an important piece of information that may lead to my emotional stability and learn more about why I don’t believe in myself and am so afraid to do anything that would better my life.
I have many artistic ways that I never pursued. Im creative and my dream was to be a musician and writer. All of which Iv done nothing about it although I do write and keep them to myself. Im a loser and this hurts. Don’t know why Im writing this here. Guess I need to really get it out. I don’t know what to do with my life and Im in my 30′s. Im fearful that I’ll be a bum on the streets drinking my pain away and just die a nobody.
I want a life. I just want to be normal. I feel like its too late. I wasn’t born to be this way, I was created this way. I had something to offer the world and enjoy doing it. But now Im just a problem, one big nothing. I wish I could be like the people I see. I wish I could laugh without this inner voice that tells me that I shouldn’t laugh because my life sucks. I wish I had family to go to and feel love and be able to say anything without being belittled and made to feel worthless. I sure am a mess, ain’t I?
I read your heartbreaking post in the comment section and I am so sorry you have had to endure so much in your life. KNOW that you are worthy! You are goodness and you do deserve a happy life. Many of us have been belittled by others – rising above it is not easy.
Have you sought counseling? A sensitive therapist may be what you need to leave this negative conditioning behind and to develop the tools so that you may live the happy and positive life you want.
Here is a post that might be helpful on finding a good therapist: http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2010/01/26/10-ways-to-find-a-good-therapist/
Hang in there!