The Hit List - Nature hater. Mom always wanted me to "go out and play" but the truth is: I was a nature hater.

“Why don’t you go outside and play?”

This wasn’t a plea – it was a passive-aggressive question-slash-command from a harried mother who couldn’t understand the surly little girl who preferred to curl up in the old Morris chairs with a book rather than play kick the can with the other kids on a warm summer eve.

Truth is, I didn’t want to do much outside in the day time either. The sun freckled and burned my fair skin and I despised the feeling of sweat on my back, which made my clothes stick in the most unflattering way. And winter? I liked the cold but bundling up in that ugly snow suit just seemed like a waste of time when I could sit for hours in my room, creating pretend newspapers, or blasting the Sex Pistols and pondering anarchy when I was a teen.

I didn’t care about gardens or flowers or any of that. I was afraid of bugs and the cicada shells my little brother liked to throw at me. I couldn’t climb a tree to save my life.

I just never liked being outside.

I was a nature hater.

So it’s ironic that I married a man who is a nature guy. He has a green thumb and loves to hike and camp. He even lived in the woods for a spell, which would have been my idea of hell on earth for I need concrete under my feet, coffee shops nearby, and the whir of cars swishing past me. I need WIFI.  My husband does like the city but he feels nature is a way to commune with divinity. It’s his ashram and personal place to get his Taoism on.

Me. Not so much. I like nature up to a point but being out with nothing but the stars overhead and a sleeping bag between me and potential worms? All I can think is this: “If someone came along and murdered me, no one would hear me scream.” (I’d like to blame that line of thinking on Texas Chainsaw Massacre. Thanks a lot for the murdery phobias, Leatherface.)

This is also why I make a lousy hippie or Pagan. All that dancing around, hugging trees ‘n worshipping the earth? Can’t do it. I’m not the Maypole kind nor a tree worshipper.

Don’t get me wrong – my not-caring about hanging in nature doesn’t mean I’m subscribe to some sort of Koch Brothers destroy the earth thing. Not at all. I do appreciate the beauty of nature and find it amazing – but I just want to be indoors most days – or hanging in urban areas, safe from mythical killers that hang out in the woods, looking for an innocent (paranoid) camper.

I have often wondered: can you be spiritual if you don’t dig hanging out in nature? Is there something wrong with you and your connection to spirit if you don’t jam with the trees?

I used to think so. It was hard not to when your husband enjoys the great outdoors and seems to come home from camping with that “I’m at peace with the world” vibe soaking through his pores.

But I’ve realized that we each need to find our liberation where we can and, for me, that’s not in the woods, at the beach, or digging around in the dirt.

My spirituality might be on a yoga mat, writing with a cat on my lap, blasting Rick Ross while cooking a complicated meal, or sitting quietly with a book…on an antique Morris chair.

I can appreciate nature on occasion or from afar but know that where I’m spending time has no bearing on whether I’m spiritual or not. Because ultimately, spirit is with me, no matter where I’m at, inside or out.

I may not be at one with nature but I’m down with my nature.

cat-and-husband

The nature boy and his mini-lion.

Other stuff:

Loving this from Lavender Moon: 8 little ways to be more spiritual.

The next time you read web copy from “six figure coaches” who are promising you insta-success, please read this wise stuff from Layla Saad: Why those 6-figure business coaches are failing you.

Yes to this: The Lives of Black Girls, In Photos.

A good read from Kelly Meerbot: How to stay a leader when your world is falling apart.

Good stuff is always happening over at Little Red Tarot: Divining Motherhood – Introducing the Fool.

This nine year old reporter did a story on a murder and was told she should be making tea and playing with dolls.

I’m sad that Togetherness is cancelled but I have to agree: the charter school storyline was getting obnoxious.

You don’t even have to show up and look good – they have special effects for that.

I would love to go to Switch ‘n Play!

Interesting post over at The Wild Hunt: Living in a material world.

These young women were freed from Boko Haram but now they have to deal with an unwelcoming community.

From Science of People: How to spot a toxic person.

Legendary singer Ronnie Spector speaks about Kesha.

Joy Bryant says: Stop telling me I should have kids.

Still buzzing over my delightful Animal Medicine Card reading from Candlesmoke Chapel. Get one!

Another day, another yoga studio gets sued for sexual harassment.  Seriously – what are they putting in their chai lately?

I just attended a workshop with one of my favorite authors, Laura Day.  Check out her book: How to Rule the World from Your Couch.

On my wish list: The Secret Thoughts of Successful Women: Why Capable People Suffer from the Impostor Syndrome and How to Thrive in Spite of It by Valerie Young.

May have to get this too: Mastering Your Mean Girl: The No-BS Guide to Silencing Your Inner Critic and Becoming Wildly Wealthy, Fabulously Healthy, and Bursting with Love by Melissa Ambrosini.

Yoga teacher Kathryn Budig just released this goody: Aim True: Love Your Body, Eat Without Fear, Nourish Your Spirit, Discover True Balance!

 

What I’m Grateful For:

Clean windows
Fresh beets
Interesting lectures
Pondering
Lessons in Photoshop
Getting the proofs for my book

 

Soundtrack for 4/8/16: I’m Ready by Skizzy Mars

Blessings,
Theresa

© Theresa Reed | The Tarot Lady 2016

images from stock photography and personal collection

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