The Hit List – Frivolous Talents and Hair Metal

When I’m not busy reading tarot or cooking up some wicked treats in the kitchen, I’m indulging in my most frivolous talent of all:  creating fictional musical groups (often featuring my cats) and song parodies.

Whether I’m creating raps for tarot decks, or gangsta stage names for the cats (Mice T and Puff Belly – pictured above.  That’s how they look in my head!), once I get fixated on one of these “groups”, I will have no rest until I’ve sketched out an entire concept along with some trilla updated lyrics. (I once spent a whole morning creating a song for my new purple office throne called….wait for this: Purple Reign.  Holla ‘n homage to Prince every time I sit!)

To give you an idea of how involved this gets, this week I got all jazzed up on the notion of a glam rock/yoga mash up and came up with a Poison tribute band called Posin’.  What ensued afterwards was a day long bender of song writing, Poison research, and massive silliness.

In my vision (bear with me), my Posin’ group had members Breath Michaels, CC DeChill, Bobby Dalli Lama, and Ricket Radha (thanks for that gem, Little Fox Tarot!) jamming their special brand of  “Hari Metal” complete with shiny leopard yoga pants (hey, they are just like spandex – mat to stage: win!) and some yogic groupies called “Posers” who lifted their hands in jnana mudra instead of the horns of the beast.  Hell yeah!

And oh, the hit songs:  Talk Krishnamurti To Me, Every Pose Has It’s Thorn, Your Yama Don’t Dance, Look What the Mat Dragged In, SanskritTo Believe In – yes….a whole frigging day of yoga Poison madness.  Sure, I had work to do but this type of mad skill can’t be put on hold!  

Well, except it does.  As my husband sagely says each time I start on off a fake group binge, “this is another one of your whims…it will pass.”  

And it does.  But not without leaving behind this gem (get your incense sticks and lighters, Posers):

 

Every Pose Has It’s Thorn by Posin’ (come on now, I know you want to sing along and probably will)

 

We both lie silently still

In savasana side by side

Although our mats are close together 

We feel auras apart inside 

 

Was it something I said or something I did 

Were my Lululemons just too tight? 

Though I tried not to breathe too loud 

Though I tried 

But I guess that’s why they say 

 

Every pose has it’s thorn 

Just like every kirtan has a trance 

Just like Krishna Das sings some sad, sad chants

Every pose has it’s thorn 

 

Yeah it does 

 

I listen to our favorite chant 

Playing in our yoga class 

Hear the teacher say it’s okay if we pass a little gas

But I wonder does she know 

What I’m really holding inside 

It ain’t that vegan burrito 

No it’s love – a love that won’t die 

I guess 

 

Every pose has it’s thorn 

Just like every kirtan has a trance 

Just like Krishna Das sings some sad, sad chants

Every pose has it’s thorn 

 

Though I’ve held lotus for a while 

And my knees feel so much pain 

Like a pranayama that holds your breath

But the samskara still remains 

 

(Guitar solo)

 

I know I could have striked a pose that night 

If I’d known my niyamas

Instead of makin’ love 

You made me feel like an ass-ana

 

But now I hear you found a new studio

And Rodney Yee is “adjusting” you 

To hear that tears me up inside 

Like those Birkenstocks you tossed aside

I guess 

 

Every pose has it’s thorn 

Just like every kirtan has a trance 

Just like Krishna Das sings some sad, sad chants

Every pose has it’s thorn 

 

The last of the dirty snow before the meltdown.  Not even Bret Michael’s bandanna can cover this mess!

Other stuff:

I kinda obsessed with Magic Mike.  Yeah, it’s no Academy Award winner – but it is fun.  And my man, Channing Tatum, is charming and um…hot.  Looks like Mr. Tatum is creating a sequel. (Memo to Matthew McConaughey: I was in a Channing Tatum phase back then.  I’m onto your special brand of awesome now.  Thanks for True Detective!)

I found this gem from Ellen Ercolini: Magic Mike’s Advice for Growing Entrepreneurs.  Stripping is not mandatory.  Going after your dreams is though.

The Lower East Side will always have a special place in my heart.  Thanks to EV Grieve, I can stay up to date on what’s happening in my old hood. 

A harrowing look at the effect of drug addiction: More Than Meth.  

According to JayZ, most rappers are lying about their money.  Hova don’t lie though. Or does he?  (PS according to this graph, Dr Dre is modest about his wealth.)

Commentary after the death of designer L’Wren Scott:  Scott’s suicide reveals the tragic side of city’s glitzy scene.

I’ve been hearing a lot about “imposter syndrome” and this post by T. Thorne Coyle struck the strongest chord.  Story #2 is powerful.

According to the “Bikini paparazzo”, Anne Hathaway is mean and Simon Cowell is nice.  Who da thunk?

Got a Facebook page for your business?  Looks like they are changing things up…again.  Sigh.

This was a brilliant read by Sarah Von Bargen: Someone Else’s Pain + Struggle Does Not Negate Yours.  Big yes to this!

Esme Wang kicks some ass in this post.  Literally.  

OMG Gloria Steinem (one of my heroes) looks so amazing at 80!  Feminism does a body good!

I love this take on gratitude from Annika Martins.  Why do we have to put limits on it?  We don’t.  WISE.

Are you familiar with James Altucher?  You should be.  Posts like this “Ultimate Cheat Sheet for Dealing With Haters” are full o’ smarts.  Get on it!

Speaking of hate, Bombchelle lays it out straight shooter style: The difference between being a maverick and an asshole. A-yo!

And no, I will not be offering naked yoga classes.  (Unless Channing Tatum shows up.  But that’s different and it would be a “private class”.)

Cannot wait for Building Your Business the Right-Brain Way: Sustainable Success for the Creative Entrepreneur by Jennifer Lee to hit the shelves.  Counting down the days until April 15th.  

 

What I’m Grateful For:

Music 

Smiling faces

Ghiradelli dark chocolate with sea salt and caramel

Working pens

Only one more week until Game of Thrones Season 4

Fresh notepads

 

Soundtrack for 3/29/14:  “Cookie Cutter Bitches” by Sno the Product – Be you, yo.

 What happens under the bandanna, stays under the bandanna.

Have a  great week!

Theresa

© Theresa Reed | The Tarot Lady 2014

image from taoxproductions and personal collection