I deeply care about you but I won’t attach myself to your issues. Tarot readers are sensitive creatures. We have to create strong boundaries in order to preserve our own inner peace.
I can’t remember your readings (I do a “reading dump” at the end of the day). I can barely remember my grocery list. Trust me on that.
Last minute appointments throw my mojo off. My day is strictly planned and I don’t like surprises. Sorry but you’ll have to wait.
A tarot reader practices a lot of self care – you should too. You deserve it.
You don’t have to be unhappy. You have every tool available (including therapy) to change your life. Your future is always up to you.
There are no guarantees. Don’t seek that from the cards or from me. The only person who can give you a guarantee on your life is you.
I can’t read for everyone. Nothing personal. Sometimes we just don’t gel. Keep searching and you’ll find a reader who is a better fit for you.
Don’t waste your energy on past loves. The present is all that matters. What will you do with now? Start with loving yourself.
You must take action if you want your life to be awesome. Sitting around waiting for your “luck” to change leads to a whole lotta nothing happening.
A tarot reading is rarely if ever 100% “accurate”. If you are seeking 100% accuracy, that’s a mighty tall order.
When you call me for a “chat as a friend” and it ends up with you dumping on me and asking me to “toss a couple of cards” or give you “my vibe” on the situation, I feel very taken advantage of. (This is why my phone is always off – I won’t allow this any longer.)
Everyone has their turn at the wheel. Life is always in motion. Don’t get angry if life doesn’t always go your way. Roll with the punches. This too shall pass.
If you walk in the door proclaiming that you “don’t believe in this stuff”, I don’t find it charming or funny. It puts me on the defense and creates a hostile environment. Would you like it if someone did that to you at your job? Probably not. If you don’t believe, I really don’t have any interest in proving a thing to you.
Likewise, if you choose to sit mute in the reading or wish to “test me” with trick questions, I hope you realize that you are making my work feel like an onerous chore. Be friendly and don’t play games. We’ll get along much better.
When the clock is off, my mojo is turned off. And no, I don’t walk around “reading energy” or prying into other people’s auras. It’s invasive. I like to mind my own karma. (Oh, and that perplexed look on my face is not about you – I’m probably stewing over last night’s Mob Wives episode because that is where my brain goes when I am not working.)
Not all tarot readers are witches (I’m not one). Nor are we all gypsies, psychics, con artists, women, pagans, crones, druids, or any of the other stereotypes you may have heard. We come in every shape, size, color, gender, sexual orientation, background, belief system, etc.
Tarot isn’t only for divination. In fact, tarot originally started as a game – and it is still played as one to this day. Tarot can also be used for creative prompts, conscious decision making, self development, a therapeutic tool and more.
When you ask the same question over and over to get the answer you want, my cards get rebellious and I get aggravated. Don’t do it.
Tarot is not “evil” nor the work of the devil. In fact, it’s quite neutral and depends entirely on the intent of the reader and client. Most readers want to help, not harm.
Bitter is not a good look on anyone. Don’t be bitter – be better.
You do not have a curse on you. If you believe that, you have taken your own personal responsibility out of your current circumstances. If your life feels crappy, you can change it. It’s always up to you. As my mother said “your life is how you make it”.
No ones gets spiritual by holding on. Let go.
What feels so horrible and difficult right now will bring deep understanding later. You’ll look back and see it differently. BREATHE. It gets better.
Your future belongs to you and is yours alone. Focus on you. Don’t worry about everyone else. Live fully. Be present.
In the end, you’ll realize that this was all just one big, joyful journey. Love the life you have now because it will end one fine day. And that’s the only future you can count on.
Blessings!
Theresa
© Theresa Reed | The Tarot Lady
What do you want to know about tarot or tarot readers? Or what do you wish people knew about tarot? Post your comments and questions in the comment section below:
{ 63 comments… read them below or add one }
This is great and applicable in all relationships … it’s so important to set clear and communicated boundaries. There is nothing worse than being the recipient of years of pent up resentment because nothing was said. It sucks! P.S. No, I’m not referring to my personal relationships. This is a past thing for me … way, way in the past!
Thanks for stopping by, Donna! Healthy relationships – personal and business – require boundaries. Not always easy to set ‘em, right?
That was a work of art! Truly! I’m a professional intuitive and as my friend Lindsay from “The Daily Awe” said: “replace tarot clients with intuitive reading clients” and yep, I’m right with you.
Thanks for this wonderful reminder that the work we do with others is sacred and that there is no “permission genie” coming down from the sky to save you.
Amen! Thank you Theresa, couldn’t have said it better my self! I am STILL setting boundries, and the words above help me to not feel so bad about it. Can’t help everybody, or “solve” their problems for them…as much as I would like to at times.. You ARE a valueable teacher and mentor to me and to many others. I thank you again for your words of wisdom.
Thank you so much Serelle! XXOO
Oh Theresa! You ARE psychic! How did you know all of my thoughts?!! *wink*
After having had a rollercoaster ride of a Tarot party yesterday, I can totally relate to your ‘manifesto’ above. While I had some fantastic clients who really wanted to partner and work together, I had two clients in particular who wanted to give away NOTHING. One was there to test me, and the other I don’t think knew what to do. With the second client, I eventually called off the reading after getting continual reversed cards and no connection whatsoever from the client himself. It was a confronting experience for both of us, but it had to be done. (Any tips on how to do this in the most constructive way possible? I felt really bad/yuk afterwards, but as I said, it had to be done.)
Anyway, I just wanted to say, “I HEAR YOU!!”
Thank you Brigit! Oh….what a great idea for a post. I’ve been there too – and it’s a sticky wicket.
Let me stew on that.
Much love,
Theresa
Ooo, yes please!! I would love you to write a post on it.
In addition to my original comment, and the experience of having to turn down a querent. That has only happened to me once. Refered her to contact another reader and get a larger reading. Often three cards are not enough to catch what is at the core of their concern. Even if I could read your mind, you will never know, but I am not a psychiatrist. You both are my heroes. Matthias and Robert
Ack! This is why I have pretty much quit doing parties, without a LOT of vetting by me.
Amen! Especially the point about proving yourself in your work!
Also love the gentle reminder that we are captains of our own direction – no resting on our laurels.
Hello Tricia
Yes – we are always in control of our lives. It’s up to us to dictate the outcome by our choices. The more conscious we are, the better our lives will be.
Much love,
Theresa
What a fun, brilliant, insightful post! Not often will I read to the bottom of something this long. I read every word of this!
Hello Tanya
Thank you! I’m blushing!
XXOO
Theresa
Wow, do I love this.
Thank you.
Thank you so much Lori-Lyn!
This is so applicable in many fields. I am sure there are many that get the request for a quick massage, their bangs cut or this or that. I also state that anything shared with a client is not a replacement for medical or any other care giver that they should have. It is educational entertainment. I don’t pre-determine futures as that is up to them. What if I said – hey you are going to bump into a blond, blued eyed soul mate … but the person you bumped into decided to dye their hair black and was wearing green contacts that day? You missed your meeting! LOL :0) Thank You!
Gaile
So true – I have friends who are doctors and lawyers who cannot mention what they do at a party because it inevitably leads to them being asked for advice.
It happens in all fields!
Hello Nice Lady,
As a reader, I could almost use this verbatim as my own(I don’t do that).
I thank you for your insight , and I do indentify with your unbiased opinions.
Namaste and many blessings to you and yours.
“When you call me for a “chat as a friend” and it ends up with you dumping on me and asking me to “toss a couple of cards” or give you “my vibe” on the situation, I feel very taken advantage of. (This is why my phone is always off – I won’t allow this any longer.)”
And that’s why I LOVE you.
Great post, my friend!!!
Hi Frances
One of the hardest lessons for me to learn was boundaries. I’m naturally friendly and have gotten burned many times by people who only wanted to be my friend to get access to free tarot stuff (they don’t really care about my life – only what I can do for them).
I now have strict boundaries in place. And it’s sad because I really do enjoy people and like to be friendly.
Theresa
Yea, verily. Good things for readers and sitters alike to know. Thanks for this!
I love this post! It’s so applicable to so many types of relationships. And it’s excellent reading for people new to the Tarot, also. Speaking of which, I’d like to link to it in my Gratitude Tarot Facebook group, would that be okay? I’d especially like to share the line ” Tarot can also be used for creative prompts, conscious decision making, self development, a therapeutic tool and more. ” and would love it if the group popped over to the read the whole brilliant post!
Hugs and butterflies,
~Teresa~
Hi Teresa (great name btw – grins),
Thank you – and yes, you are welcome to share this in your group.
XXOO
Theresa, this is just wonderful! Thank you for writing it.
Love,
Valentina
I could say 90% of this as a life coach, too. Some clients are amazing, but then you get the ones who want you to wave your magic wand & do all the work for them. Or the friends who get all weird when you don’t work for free.
I have several good friends who are mediums or tarot readers & I’m extra careful about how I ask them for their opinions (as my good friends) to make sure I’m not abusing their gift.
As a fairly new reader, I so appreciate this guidance. You can be so eager to please people that you forget how important boundaries can be. Good stuff! Thank you!
YES! Yes yes…and yes — OH! And YES — ABSOLUTELY yes!! And then there’s yes…
YES!!
You rock! Thank you! YES!!!
Well said. Boundaries are the hardest thing for me when it comes to reading for friends.
One thing I would add is this: Don’t ask one question when you really want to know about another. It confuses the cards and me. I can often tell that the cards aren’t answering the right question, but I don’t want to have to second-guess. Ask the question. I won’t judge.
Thanks for a great post!
Love it! You said all so perfectly, tarot thug style.
Once again, a great post. I don’t think there’s anything on this list that I disagree with… especially the lessons that come from people testing your boundaries, and then having to firmly establish to them what your boundaries are!
One word my friend, BRILLIANT!
Spot on with today’s blog post!
Yep. This is why you’re the Tarot Lady.
xo Lis
Well said my friend, well said! I love when you speak the truth. People may not like it but you’ve always said it like you mean it and I honor that in you. Much love and respect to you.
Excellently put as always. Some clients do not realize that we have lives too and cannot focus on readings 24/7. Professional limits are needed in any business.
Really enjoyed your article. That ‘test’ attitude is bizarre – why do people do that? If you want to know something – just ask! Who goes into a restaurant, refuses to look at a menu, then just expects the chef to automatically serve up a plate of food that is perfect for them??? It is strange to give up time and money to not cooperate! Thankfully it doesn’t happen too often
The SF BATS posted this on Facebook, and I am now a fan! You’ve crystallized so many of my random thoughts into one post! Now, I always have a deck on me somewhere, and people do assume I’ll be willing to drop everything and give them a free reading! I’ve been taught that there should be an exchange of energy. If I get nothing from them, it’s hard to give!
The people who want to test you are exhausting too. That negative energy just drains me. Lots of Reiki after those!
Thanks for a very readable, very enjoyable post. I’ll be following your blog now!
Well said!
Thank you for writing this. A great public service announcement
Love this – very well said
Wow! Brilliant. I’m so glad you wrote this. There wasn’t ONE thing you said that I didn’t believe, hasn’t crossed my mind, or that I haven’t experienced and you wrote a lot of things.
And it gave such a relief to read it knowing that I’m not alone in these feelings, thoughts, and impressions. Thank you.
Ten thumbs up, pretty much applies to anyone in business or who specializes in something. thanks for sharing your thoughts.
I don’t know who quoted this originally:
“Your cards are in my hands; your future is in Yours.”
Thank you for this wonderful blog!
Awesome post! And now that I think about it, I could totally say to a doctor, or even more emphatically to a textbook editor, for example, “I don’t believe in this stuff,” but of course I wouldn’t, because that would be terribly rude. Why should tarot be any different? People who do psychic and/or energy work must be right up there with clergy in being talked to this way, but often without getting the same baseline level of respect that clergypeople tend to get even from “nonbelievers.”
Great read thank you! Can relate to it all.Thank you Brigit for the link
Excellent Theresa
I will be sharing everywhere!
As usual, Theresa, you ROCK! Well said, with magical timing! Thank you for your clarity and brilliance!
Theresa,
I particularly liked the bit not dipping into others sh*t when the clock is off. This is so essential for us intuitive’s. YES! Any who- loved this. Personal responsibility is always a must- always!
Question: how do you do your reading dump at the end of the day??
(hugs) Sarah
A very comprehensive and thoughtful “wishlist”. Many of these applied to me- taking care of yourself especially. I put readings on hold because this is something I needed to do.
Will share!
Svet
Goodness, Theresa, wish i had read these words of yours when i started reading for others… Thank you for putting it so eloquently!
I decided to trust the universe and do reading for money. I have been reading people for years and never felt confident. The cards have revealed that I am ready.
But…I had a series of questions of which your article answered every single one. I am super excited about my new life.
Blessings to you!
Oh, you are so right. Great post! Should be required reading. (Especially the bit about what happens when you ask the same question over and over and over and over …)
It’s not only “spot on”, it’s well said. Brilliant!
Loving your brilliance here. Seriously. It should be laminated and we should be able to hand it out to people randomly on the street!
Goddess thou art Theresa!
Megan
Theresa, you are so down to earth, I love it!
Thank you for your authenticity and the ‘let’s talk turkey’ reflections! Thanks for the all the reminders about the games people play and to STOP IT!! you make me smile!
thanks for this beautiful and sensible piece of advise.
A very sincere article. I could relate very much, both as a tarot reader as well as in my profession as a counselor. Thank you very much writing this, Theresa
This is a really wonderful list and a great resource for readers and tarot clients alike. It’s really easy to become taken advantage in this line of work, which is strange considering the image of the tarot reader as the con artist. I think it’s always wise to be reevaluating your energy level, your boundaries with clients, and making sure that clients always feel like THEY are the one with the power to make changes and choices.
Namaste Wise Lady,
Recently I was sent an article form a friend. Credit going to Joe Ivory, he stated perhaps one of the best aricles on respect and self respect.
” I love you, and I will help you. But as a Hermit, I must stay apart, removed, and disconnected from all emotional entanglements”
“If you desire my help, and assistance, please ask, but if you simply want to invade and drain my energies, expecting me to carry you, I will detach.”
Wise words to all the Hermits out there.
Brava!
Respect is a two-way street in the tarot session.
Amen James!
Thank you! I have been trying to organize my thoughts on this for awhile and you did it so succinctly! May I use this for my students? I will, of course, give you all the writing credit. ( I would use it for my clients, but I might bludgeon them with it! )
By all means, please do, Paula!