Splitsville. It happens to the best of us. And it’s never easy, especially when you are on the receiving end of the dumping.
You’re hurt and your ego is bruised. After all, why wouldn’t someone want to be with a person as fabulous as you?
Sometimes, it’s not that there is anything wrong with you – it may just be the lack of chemistry. In other cases, it may be that you did something egregious and truly deserved getting the boot. And then there are the other situations where a third party interfered or your partner was just a douchelord.
Whatever the case, holding on is not an option. You need to move forward.
But how can you do that when the love of your life just dropped you like a moldy burrito?
Here’s a plan of action to get you centered and back on track as quickly as possible:
- Go ahead and cry. No need to be a brave little soldier. If you are hurt, sit with it. Acknowledging your pain is often the quickest way to move through it.
- Don’t suffer in silence. Reach out to your friends. A circle of support will help ease the pain. (Plus, girlfriends are great for a little ex-bashing because chances are, they have been in your shoes before.)
- Disconnect on social media immediately. Unfriend and unfollow. That way, you won’t be tempted to Facebook stalk him. Out of sight, out of mind.
- Get rid of any reminders. Take down photos, throw out mementos that make you sad (feel free to keep the ones that bring you joy though), give away anything that keeps him or her on your mind.
- Stay busy. Idle hands lead to drunk texting. Don’t sit around moping. Get on with things. Work out. Take that cooking class you never had time for. Hit the dance floor with your buddies. Write a novel.
- Remove their contact info from your cell phone. This will also limit your ability to “accidentally” dial them up.
- If you cannot seem to shake the blues or start to feel obsessive, get therapy. While that may sound extreme, this is a better route than constantly fixating on whether or not they’ll come back.
- And, above all, give yourself time to heal before jumping into a new relationship. Recover from heartbreak before you bring someone new into your life. Rebounds are rarely a wise idea.
Want a tarot spin on your situation? Refrain from asking “will he return” questions. That will only keep you stuck in heartbreak limbo.
Instead ask empowering questions such as:
What can I do to move forward?
What was my lesson in this relationship?
What do I need to know about finding a healthy and lasting relationship?
How can I move towards forgiving my ex?
Getting dumped may feel like it’s the end of the world, but it’s not. You will go on and love again. Start by loving yourself first.
“When one door closes, another opens; but we often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door that we do not see the one which has opened for us” -Alexander Graham Bell
© Theresa Reed | The Tarot Lady 2014
image from stock photography