The Hit List - I hear ya....kinda.

I haven’t talked about this much: I’ve had hearing issues from the time I was a wee tot.

This has lead to all manner of drama such as:

my tonsils being taken out – twice (it’s rare but they can grow back)
serious ear infections that were so bad it sounded like I had “ants” marching in my ears
tubes inserted in my ears
having to do regular hearing exams throughout my entire school life (hated those)
misunderstandings from people thinking I’m a “poor listener” and accusing me of tuning them out or ignoring them (I do tune people out if the conversation is boring! Ha!)
an endless search for a functional headset for my phone that doesn’t muffle sounds (if someone can direct me to a good one, please do)

Having auditory issues sucks. It’s embarrassing to constantly ask people to repeat themselves. If I’m in another room and you’re talking, fuggetabout it. You might as well be in Siberia. I won’t hear anything except something like those adults on Charlie Brown comics: wa-wa-wa-wa.

I am secretly scared that I will end up like my dad who was so hard of hearing in his later years, that I would have to yell at him at the top of my lungs so that he could understand me (He refused to wear hearing aids. I hereby solemnly promise that when it gets that bad, I will wear them. I do not want my kids screaming in my grill!).

The thought of going completely deaf is terrifying.

I suppose it’s not all bad though (I’m good at finding silver linings). Believe it or not, there are a couple of benefits that have come from having bad ears:

I really, really pay attention when people speak. I have to. So when we are together, you get my full presence. (This is why I prefer one-on-one conversations rather than big groups. I need to concentrate.)
I have learned that mouths tell more about character than eyes. I can spot a liar or a creep simply by looking at their mouths. Eyes can hide a lot but a twisty mouth always gives the freak flag away. I may start a “mouth divination class”. It might save some peeps a lot of drama. (I’ve taught my husband what I know and he’s become adept at recognizing a “bad mouth”.)
I can tune stuff out and turn around and blame it on my hearing if someone gets pissed! Ha! (Ironically, I never seem to be able to tune out loud eaters. My husband accuses me of “bionic selective hearing”. Lip smacking makes my skin crawl. I do look forward to the day when eating a meal with a loud chewer doesn’t phase me.)

I think about deafness a lot and I ponder what it might be like (will it be dead silence or “white noise”?). I worry about not hearing music or being able to do my work (I love email but it’s the phone and in person contact that I enjoy the most). Should I ever completely lose my hearing, there are many sounds I will remember and hold close:

the sound of my children laughing and saying “I love you”
my father’s last breath
my cats purring
my husband asking me to marry him
my sister saying I am sorry and I miss you
Rick Ross and JayZ on full blast

I want to imprint other sounds on my consciousness, which means I want to be fully present with what I can hear now. I don’t want to miss a thing so you can bet I’m paying attention.

How will you be present? What would you focus on most if you knew you were possibly going to lose one of your senses?

My baristas always listen to me! Ha! If you are in Wisconsin, be sure to go to the Starbucks in Shorewood – they are the best, hands down.

Other stuff:

I got a lovely mention over at kiind on The Totally Thoughtful (But Extremely Lazy) Person’s Holiday Gift Guide by Alexandra Franzen! (PS Tarot readings are great stocking stuffers!)

I have a not so secret fixation with cats in Victorian clothes. Apparently back in the day, there were other weirdoes like me: Vintage Photos Reveal Century-Long Obsession with Dressing Up Pets

Oprah is really rooting for Lindsay Lohan. Damn.

Howard Dully’s story about his lobotomy is heartbreaking. Watch the interview and then get his book: My Lobotomy.

Rock and Roll Stories is Lynn Goldsmith’s new book. Just in time for Christmas!

My hubby is all wrapped up in the Dr Who premiere today. I’m not into anything Who related but I did enjoy watching the story behind the creation: An Adventure In Time and Space. The actors were spot on and the background story on how this show came to be was fascinating! Do watch it.

I went on a Rachel Roy jewelry bender recently but somehow the store didn’t carry this bad boy. Me want. Shall I wait for the holiday or treat myself some more?

Tonight rumor has it my hubby is taking me to Hue restaurant for a good bowl of pho. I’m always in search of the perfect Vietnamese restaurant since my fave burned to the ground. Hue is not the most traditional but it does the trick. (And the bartender rocks!)

I rarely buy tarot decks anymore – especially something new fangled (I tend to stick with the traditionals and once in a blue moon may have a fling with a different deck). Wild Unknown Tarot has been popping up in my feed all the time so I finally plunked down my cheddar to get a copy. Looking forward to seeing what the fuss is about.

What I’m Grateful For:

Patience

New laptop!

Working furnace

Funny baristas

My Hello Kitty Chia pet from my homegirl, Starcana (ps she’s a great astrologer and all around kick ass chick)

Spruce candles

Soundtrack for 11/16/13: Words by Missing Persons: back to the 80’s – I’ve always loved this song!