The mature, well dressed woman walked into my office and sat down wearily. I had not seen her in years. The last time we sat down for a tarot reading, her life was in turmoil. She was trapped in a dead end, loveless marriage and she claimed she could not leave until her child went off to college.
I was hoping that she would be telling me all about lots of exciting changes since our last visit but instead, she was in the same place as she was the last time I saw her – still married and still miserable. The only change to her circumstances was the child, who was now away at school and doing well.
She asked the tarot what would happen if she left her husband. While the cards showed the potential for a dazzling and happy new life she began shaking her head and then it began: The Yeah Buts.
“Yeah but it would be too hard to leave….”
“Yeah but my child would be devastated….”
“Yeah but we have too many financial obligations….”
“Yeah but I’ve been a stay at home mom for years and don’t know how to enter the workplace….”
“Yeah but I’m afraid of dating again…there are no good men anymore….
And on and on she went with a look of grim determination on her face.
For every question she asked and every solution she sought, she had a list of excuses and a whole lotta stubborn resistance.
She was not ready to change nor to take personal responsibility for her life and happiness. Instead, she had created her own limbo and was hoping the cards would show some magical, happy new future. One that would happen without her having to lift a finger.
But life (and tarot) doesn’t work like that. And all the tarot in the world can’t help you if you constantly talk yourself out of making change.
When your life is not going the way you want, it’s time to take a good, hard look at yourself. Are you really making the effort and simply coming against some obstacles? Or are you keeping your self and your life in a holding pattern? Are you making excuses for the life you have now? Is fear or apathy or unrealistic expectations dictating your life?
Most tarot readers really want to help you. In fact, that’s the main reason a lot of us go into the business. But your reading is only as good as your willingness to receive and implement the information we provide. We cannot wave a magic wand. You are the only one who can do that – all we can do is show you the possibilities.
As the client walked out the door, she turned around and said “I guess that reading wasn’t very positive. Looks like nothing is going to change.”
What she failed to see is that it was HER that was not going to change.
“Excuses are the nails used to build a house of failure.” ~Don Wilder and Bill Rechin
“No one ever excused his way to success.” ~Dave Del Dotto
“If you don’t want to do something, one excuse is as good as another.” ~Yiddish Proverb
“The person who really wants to do something finds a way; the other person finds an excuse.” ~Author Unknown
Blessings!
Theresa
© Theresa Reed | The Tarot Lady 2012
Do you make excuses for your life? What do you do when you feel stuck? I’d love to hear your suggestions in the comment section below:
{ 11 comments… read them below or add one }
This is terribly sad.
Yes it is. But more common than you think. It’s very easy to get trapped into making excuses that keep you stuck.
I do make excuses. and I feel stuck most of the time. I usually wait for others to decide. and I have been trying to change that by talking to successful friends, seeing therapists and doing things I like to motivate me. but, till now, negativity and “laziness” if I am allowed to call it that way, is the only constant. I tend to ask questions, even when I write personal diaries or notes. How do people get ready to change? where does all of that energy to work on one-self and one’s life or work comes from? Saying to someone “be positive” is not good enough of an answer cause it is not just a button to be clicked. How do you overcome the fear of ending things, ending a pattern, any pattern, be it an attitude or a relationship?
I agree Farah – just being positive is not enough. It’s about taking decisive action with your life. If your fears are so great that you cannot change – then it’s time to do deep inner work to bust through that fear. I’m a big believer in therapy and feel that a licensed therapist is the best route if you feel emotionally paralyzed.
Not really much point coming in for a reading then, is it?! Unfortunately this is much more common than it should be.
But for a different perspective, you can and do have people that choose to take the better path–like me, for example! I got very similar cards when asking a similar question, which confirmed what I already knew deep down. After making an extremely difficult decision to divorce, I am much happier if for no other reason that I am far more authentic. BUT, big changes can take time to work up to. This has been eight years of slow but solid progression–first I had to wake up and realize I wasn’t really enthusiastic about my life. And when your whole life needs fixing, it can be overwhelming.
I concentrated on myself first and changing myself into something closer to the person I wanted to be. That took a few years and is still an ongoing process.
Then I starting on working on getting a different job, one that inspired me. I am now at a job that I love and have been for a couple of years. Lastly, I pulled the trigger on my relationship that wasn’t good for either one of us. In making sure that I always try to take the high path, a bad situation has been mitigated as best as we could – my ex and I can speak civilly and the kids are ok.
Taking steps, one by one, is the key. And it may take awhile. But whatevery your age or position, it is never too late start to bring joy and peace to your heart.
Great points, Rebekah! YES – sometimes a person is not ready and it can take baby steps. You’re the perfect example of someone who has worked through some pretty big issues and done so one small step at a time.
Sometimes it is not about making excuses, it’s simply about being ready.
Thanks for your thoughts,
Theresa
So true! Some people are so full of excuses that it makes me so angry (yes, my issue). I have one regular that uses the “yeah but”or even the “I tried that buts” One day I said to her “I love you, but I hate your but!” Did she get it? No…didn’t change a thing.
Excellent story, Theresa. So many folks can relate. And me, too, although not quite as stubbornly as your client. I find I get stuck when I try to please everyone else at my own expense. Very hard habit I have yet to completely break (damn Catholic indoctrination!). But, we cannot blame our past for the indecision of the present. And speaking of baby steps; I want to move to a new place, but lots of things to prepare. Instead of being overwhelmed or in longing, I simply started letting go of things to make life “lighter weight” and thus easier to move. Little gestures like taking things to charity drop-offs or selling off stuff I don’t need on eBay just get the energy moving. Really does.
I just love this so much (your perspective, not the lady’s determination to see her situation as she does)!
It really is hard work to make the changes you want to make in life. Everyone can look around and say “I’m not happy.” But I guess it’s easier to be unhappy than to risk positive change for some people, and even easier to blame others when they decide to continue their unhappy path!
I can’t tell you how happy I am to read your words and your empowering perspective on things! You have brought so much awesome insight to my overall spiritual growth, both in tarot and otherwise! Just wanted to say how much I appreciate your work!
Thank you for the kind words, Iseke! I’m so happy that I’ve been able to bring positive energy to your world (as you have to mine!).
XXOO
Theresa