Common (Sixth) Sense is a regular feature devoted to practical uses of intuition. Making intuition simplistic for everyday mystics.
Once upon a time, I dated a man that I was nutzo about. It takes a lot to get me to that state, so you can be sure he was pretty special.
We shared a love for politics and were often at protests and events together. One day, a woman started showing up at the same events. She was friendly to both of us, so I thought nothing about it. (I’m not a jealous girl. When other women float in my world, I always assume the best about them.)
And then…I had a dream that she was locked in a steamy clinch with my partner.
I always pays attention to my dreams and my gut. I started observing her a bit closer. It didn’t take long for me to see that she was acting mighty cozy with my boyfriend.
Straightforward gal that I am, I asked him point blank if he was sleeping with her. He denied it.
A week later, I walk in on them – in a furious lip lock. He tried to make an excuse but I ended my relationship immediately. Sleeping with someone else is bad enough but lying about it: no dice, dude.
Did you ever deal with a similar situation? Ever get a feeling that your significant other isn’t being entirely honest with you?
Maybe it’s the way (s)he jealously guards their cellphone or email account.
Maybe it’s the odd working hours and sudden late nights.
Or perhaps it’s the desire to spruce up after years of being a sweat hog.
Whatever your clues may be (even a dream), if there is smoke getting in your eyes, there may be a fire burning in your partner’s heart…for someone else.
Provided you are not the rabidly jealous type who makes wild accusations and assumes that everyone wants to do the nasty with your spouse, chances are suspicious behavior requires a second glance. If something feels off – maybe it’s the way they act or something else – you need to pay attention to those clues.
So what do you do if you have a hinky feeling that something is amiss?
Make sure you are not operating from a place of unmitigated jealousy. If you are the possessive type, you might assume that your partner is having relations with the whole wide world. If that is your mindset, you will look for problems where none exist and your bullshit detector will be off. (Plus, a stream of constant unfounded allegations makes you look like a psycho to any sane, rational person.) A true intuitive hit comes from a different space – it’s that feeling of “my partner is not acting like herself”. It’s similar to that vibe you get when there is danger lurking.
Don’t ignore your instincts. And do not let anyone else pooh-pooh them either.
Pay attention to clues – they are usually right in front of your face. I have found that evidence is often obvious but sometimes people overlook glaring proof.
Open up a dialogue with your partner. Give them a chance to clear things up – or to fess up. (Although, as you can see above, they may still lie to you.) An honest conversation may give you answers or start the healing process if your mate did go astray. Forgiveness is possible and people can move on from incidents, provided there is an effort made to set things right.
If your parter is caught red handed and not being honest about it, you’ll need to think long and hard about whether or not you can work through this. In my case, it was automatic dismissal because for me, trust is essential for a healthy relationship.
Your intuition often knows when something is amiss – especially in matters of the heart. Once we’ve made a connection on an intimate level with another person, our energy is tied up with theirs. Cheating, lying, or engaging in any sort of hurtful behavior destroys that intimate connection. Which is why, we always need to be on the up and up with the ones we love – but we also need to treat ourselves with as much love and respect as we do our partners. And that starts by listening and honoring that small, still voice within
“When people cheat in any arena, they diminish themselves-they threaten their own self-esteem and their relationships with others by undermining the trust they have in their ability to succeed and in their ability to be true.” ~ Cheryl Hughe
© Theresa Reed | The Tarot Lady 2014