“I’m your Venus, I’m your fire – your desire.” ~ Shocking Blue
In this lesson, we’re focusing on Venus, the planet of love. While the Moon symbolizes our emotional needs, Venus sheds light on how we love. This is where we find clues to our romantic style. Are you flirty? You might have your Venus in Gemini. Possessive and passionate? Check your chart and you may see that your Venus is hanging out in smoldering Scorpio.
Knowing the Venus of your partner can also help you to understand their romantic needs – upping your woo factor to the maxx. Think about it: if you know someone’s romantic style, you’re going to have an easier time in the courtship department! I’m all about that romance stuff – and nothing is better than a partner who knows exactly what the other likes. Especially what I like. Heh heh…
Keep in mind that while Venus rules all things romance, Mars rules the sex drive (that will be next month’s lesson).
In a natal chart, a well-placed Venus enhances relationships while a poorly aspected one could symbolize trouble. Also, if your natal Venus isn’t compatible with your partner’s, that doesn’t mean the relationship is doomed – but it may mean that you need to work on getting your groove right. (We’ll cover chart comparison down the road because many factors go into judging compatibility.)
Art, beauty, and commerce also fall under Venus.
Let’s look at Venus through the signs (keep in mind, this is GENERAL info – charts are not one-dimensional and neither are humans):
Aries: (detriment) In fiery Aries, Venus becomes ardent, passionate, and impulsive. For them, love is an adventure and they enjoy the chase! Venus in Aries people can be rash – jumping into a relationship without thinking first and that is where they get into trouble. They need to slow down and make sure this is what they really want before they say ‘hell yeah’.
Remember, Aries is ruled by Mars – the planet of war. This adds an aggressive element to their nature. They are not afraid to go after what they want, and if they have their eyes locked on you, they will come on like a battering ram. They love the chase – and get quickly bored once they’ve made their conquest. I’ve got a good buddy who is a full blown Aries – every time he gets into a “serious relationship”, I look at my watch and say “meh…shouldn’t be long before he’s bored out of his skull.” Sure enough…it’s over as fast as it starts – especially if the female in question starts getting all needy.
If you wish to be involved with one of these fiesty folk, you’ll need to keep them on their toes and remember this: they don’t do clingy well. Instead they respond to fellow firecrackers: ambition + cheekiness is their turn on. Stay just a little bit out of reach and you’ll drive ‘em mad. In a good way, of course.
Theme song: Fire by Jimi Hendrix
Celebrities with Venus in Aries: Marilyn Monroe, George Clooney, Rihanna, Jack Nicholson, Elizabeth Taylor.
Taurus: (dignified) Venus rules Taurus so it’s very happy here. This placement produces people who tend to be affectionate, loving, and highly romantic. They love to woo and be wooed – and are fans of all things sensual. Earthy to the max, they will be straightforward with their romantic approach. No bull here – when they like you, there is unlikely to be any game playing.
Venus in Taurus people prefer security, which means they make for a great long term partner. They’re more than happy setting up a cozy domestic scene – and both males and females have a flair for making their loved ones feel cherished and cared for. BUT they can be quite possessive. If you’re not the jealous type, this could become a bone of contention. In some cases, if the Venus is poorly aspected, they can be downright controlling. But if they are able to let go just a little, they make a solid-as-a-rock partner.
Wanna make ‘em happy? Cook a good meal from scratch. The way to a Taurus’s heart often lies there.
Theme song: Let’s Get It On by Marvin Gaye
Celebrities with Venus in Taurus: Johnny Depp, Lana Del Rey, Prince, Marlon Brando.
Gemini: Here we find the flirt of the zodiac. This is a fun placement for Venus. The energy becomes light-hearted, playful, and sociable. Venus in Gemini people adore meeting new playmates and often have more than one admirer waiting in the wings. They’ve got game, yo. They can be fickle so keep in mind that like a butterfly, they don’t like to be pinned down – they prefer to flit from one experience to another. This wanderlust is present their whole lives but they can make a marvelous companion for the right person.
That right person must be mentally stimulating for that is how to win and keep the Venus in Gemini person. Be witty, charming, and keep that conversation flowing. Remember: they fall in love through the mind – if you capture their brilliant brain, their heart is yours.
I often say that these fey folk are better off waiting until after 30 before settling down. By then, some of that Peter Pan-like quality will begin to chill. And, if they’ve had enough romantic adventures, they’ll be an entertaining and well-rounded long term partner with loads of fun stories. You’ll never be bored.
The best way to get their attention: be witty. They adore a smart aleck – or a smart ass.
Theme song: Kiss by Prince
Celebrities with Venus in Gemini: Jennifer Lopez, JFK, Sandra Bullock, Tupac Shakur.
Cancer: Years ago, a flirtatious male astrologer read my chart and sighed. “I thought you’d have a sexier chart but alas…you’re more like Donna Reed.” If you don’t know who Donna Reed is, she’s some housewife on a 50’s sitcom. Needless to say, some, like my astrologer buddy, don’t find this placement too exciting but hear this: Venus in Cancers are wonderful partners. They live to care for somebody – which means they will go out of their way to make sure you’re well-fed, loved up, and comfy as can be. They like the domestic life and family is everything to them. Many of these individuals want to set up a nest and fill it with children (or cats!).
Romantic? Yes. To a fault. They have rich imaginations and may have all sorts o’ romantic and sexual fantasies. Which means they often see potential crushes through rose colored glasses, going ga-ga far too early, and getting crushed when they discover that the other person wasn’t all that into them. They need emotional security more than anything else and should never say I do until they are damn sure the other person is really, truly ready to give them that. At best, they are devoted companions who will bend over backwards to please their partner – at worst, they are clingy and codependent. (Guilty as charged on all fronts! Ha ha!)
Wanna win ‘em over? That’s easy: be kind and keep the romantic gestures flowing. They’re suckers for all that fluff stuff.
Theme song: Be My Baby by The Ronettes
Celebrities with Venus in Cancer: Angelina Jolie, Keanu Reeves, Cameron Diaz, Halle Berry.
Leo: If you like your lovin’ flashy, passionate, and super-hot, you’re going to love Venus in Leo! This is a smoking hot placement and it produces a showy, flamboyant lover who likes to razzle-dazzle their partners. They will lavish their affections on the ones they love and often spend beyond their means to impress the object of their desires. Remember, Leo is the King or Queen of the Jungle – everything these people do, they do in a grand scale. They do nothing half-way.
Which means: when they fall, they fall hard. They can be aggressive at times and even a wee bit jealous if they think someone is stepping on their turf. Whatever you do, never, ever wound their pride. That is the death knell for a relationship with these big-hearted lions.
One stickler though: they are susceptible to flattery – a little bit of that often gets them into bed – and trouble – easily. Venus in Leos must learn to keep their egos in check when looking for love – a mindful approach will help them avoid the jokers and instead find a real King or Queen to love. (Psst they can be selfish lovers at time – narcissistic even, expecting others to bow to them. If that’s you, knock it off and give as much as you get.)
You can get their attention by being exciting, a bit glam – and over-the-top with the gifts ‘n flattery. Put ‘em on a pedestal and swoon a bit. It works every single time.
Theme song: I’m Too Sexy by Right Said Fred
Celebrities with Venus in Leo: Madonna, Selena Gomez, Amy Winehouse, Lindsay Lohan, Benedict Cumberbatch.
Virgo: (fall) Perfectionist Virgo isn’t a good placement for loving Venus. Here, she becomes critical, picky, and uber-reserved. Spontaneity isn’t their thing. Unless they have other planetary placements to modify this, this placement tends to run a bit cold. That doesn’t mean they can’t be warm and affectionate – it’s just that everything must run through their minds first – and they need to check their planner to make sure it fits their agenda.
Like their Mercury-ruled counterpart, Gemini, Venus in Virgo must have mental stimulation. If they get that, they soften right the hell up. Virgo is the sign of service so you can bet that they will be more than happy to take care of the ones they love. These are dedicated and steadfast partners – the kind you can rely upon to always keep those anniversary dates on file and the dishes done. They can be hypercritical too – god help the partner who happens to eat too loud or come home from work smelling like a sweat lodge. They’ll let you know exactly what they think about that – and probably point you in the direction of the nearest restroom.
Best way to win these ones over: keep your brain sharp and your shirt tucked in. Always smell good.
Theme song: No Scrubs by TLC
Celebrities with Venus in Virgo: Julia Roberts, Kim Kardashian, John Lennon, Eminem.
Libra: (dignified) This is a great placement for Venus, maybe the best of all. Here, Venus is romantic to the core – they love all the refinements of courtship from love letters and chocolates to sweet nothings and little presents. These types are suave, charming and dignified lovers. In fact, they make it an art form. This is the dream lover who sweeps you off your feet and makes you feel like the most special person in the world. Swoon!
Because they are ruled by Venus, they have an innate love of beauty and harmony. Which means they will go out of their way to look good for their companions and will always strive to treat them like a class act. Peace in relationships are important to this placement – discord and arguing cause them to wilt. They need serenity. A volatile relationship will not last long for these gentle people.
Sometimes, they can be idealistic. Too much so. In those cases, they may be in love with the idea of love – or may put their partner on a pedestal. When the fairytale they’ve concocted in their head comes crashing down, they move on, crushed but determined to find something better. Remember: they are romantics and rarely do they stay glum – or alone – for long.
(PS my husband has this placement and he is the most romantic, sensuous + gallant man I’ve ever met in my life.)
Venus in Libras love to be wined and dined with great conversation. Works every time!
Theme song: Heroes by David Bowie
Celebrities with Venus in Libra: Beyoncé, Freddie Mercury, Ryan Gosling, Matthew McConaughey, Viggo Mortenson.
Scorpio: (detriment) Venus in Scorpio is one of the hardest placements, period. While the sex vibe gets amped up to ravenous Tom Jones status, there is also the tendency for possessiveness, jealousy, and volatility. This is heavy-duty passion and you can bet it’s intense 24/7. When they are interested in you, they will leave no doubt about it – they will come at you with laser-sharp focus and every fiber of their being.
Venus in Scorps long to merge. These lusty types need plenty of physical stimulation. If they don’t get it, they’re going to be hard to live with. Stormy even. Which means they are either making love – or war. They are loyal to a fault but they expect you to be as well. If you do anything to break their trust, either the relationship will end coldly – or they’ll get revenge. Heaven help the one who dares to cheat on these grabby partners! (Hint: don’t. EVER.) They can be controlling just like Venus in Taurus – and the same rule applies: if they learn to let go a bit, they are much better partners.
How to knock their socks off: be sexy and be honest. Don’t fuck around. Simple as that.
Theme song: Closer by Nine Inch Nails
Celebrities with Venus in Scorpio: Leonardo DiCaprio, Jodie Foster, Demi Moore, JayZ.
Sagittarius: When Venus goes into breezy Sagittarius, freedom and independence become the most important factors. This good natured placement likes to roam a bit – they want the liberty to come and go as they please – and they’ll give it to you too. If you try to possess them, they’ll slip away like an electric eel and wonder what’s bugging you. But if you give them a bit of room, they’ll dig that, wiggle around, but probably not stray too far.
These are friendly, flirty types who enjoy a rich social life. Staying up all hours of the night, discussing philosophy and the state of the world over a big cup of java is their idea of romance. Venus in Sag is also honest. Brazenly so. They’ll tell you if they like you and they’ll let you know when they fancy someone else. They never want to hurt you though – so take nothing personally.
Like Venus in Gemini, these guys should wait a bit before settling down. They need to see the world and sow some oats before they are ready to call it a day. When they are ready to commit, they are lovely housemates who always give you plenty of room on the love seat.
How to capture these fiery wanderers: you don’t. They don’t like to be captive. Give ’em enough room and they may just hang around.
Theme song: Pony by Ginuwine (hey, Sag is half horse so you know I couldn’t resist this! Ha ha!)
Celebrities with Venus in Sagittarius: Katy Perry, David Bowie, Nicki Minaj, Jude Law.
Capricorn: This is not the most romantic Venus of the lot but it’s steady and long lasting. In fact, I often tell women who want a commitment oriented partner to seek out someone with this placement. What they lack in ardor they more than make up in the long-term relationship department.
These Venus Cappies are cautious folk – they want to make sure you’re a safe bet before they put the ring on it. They are practical and prudent in their approach but once they say “I do” they are yours…for life. They are mature, responsible and will do their best to make sure their loved ones are well provided for. This placement makes for a dutiful partner who always remembers to put the seat down and balance the checkbook.
If this placement is poorly aspected, it can lead to marriage for status. I’ve met quite a few social climbers who had this placement – various groupie types who were looking for someone to elevate their social status. This is so not a good look for this usually noble type. If that sounds like you, check your motives when you’re considering a hook up. Is it for real or are you getting some other sort of benefit?
How to make it work with these peeps: be ambitious. It turns ’em on.
Theme song: Starfuckers Inc. by Nine Inch Nails
Celebrities with Venus in Capricorn: Brad Pitt, Scarlett Johansson, Elvis Presley, Britney Spears.
Aquarius: When Venus lands in far-out Aquarius, the results are quite interesting. Here, the romance once again happens through the mind – the key to the heart of an Aquarian Venus lies in intellectual rapport. These guys and gals adore scintillating conversation, mental pursuits, and the arts. They prefer unconventional playmates – and relationships. Which means they might be the type to experiment with unusual partnerships such as polyamory.
Because Aquarius is ruled by Uranus, relationships for this placement can often come and go out of the blue. A chance meeting may lead to a whirlwind romance only to die out quickly when the Venus in Aquarian person gets bored – or whisked away by some other exciting adventure. That doesn’t mean that they can’t settle down – they can. It just takes a very special partner, one who allows them to march by the beat of their own off-beat drum, that works best.
A very important tip: they do best when they start out as friends first. Sometimes…friends with benefits. A chill approach, with no pressure might be the wisest path if you want to wrangle these independent ramblers.
Theme song: I Fink U Freeky by Die Antwoord
Celebrities with Venus in Aquarius: Taylor Swift, Harry Styles, Oprah Winfrey, Jared Leto.
Pisces: (exalted) This is considered the absolute best placement for Venus. And why not? Here, it’s dreamy, uber-romantic, and willing to sacrifice it all for the one they love. The swashbuckling hero or the long-suffering wife – these are archetypes for Venus in Pisces. When they love, they love with their whole being. They are devoted, idealistic, and extremely sensitive partners.
Ruled by Neptune, they will often idealize their partner – overlooking their flaws. They also have a tendency to pick up strays – which means anyone who is down-on-their luck or a “bad boy/girl” type might take advantage of their good hearts. Venus in Pisces people need to learn to discern when picking playmates. They must give it time to see beyond the surface down to the soul. They’re soulful, after all, and need someone who gives as much as they do.
When hurt in love, they can suffer from deep depression or dejection. This might cause them to do things to excess or seek refuge in bad habits such as overeating or partying. Venus in Pisces need healthy, creative ways to express themselves if a relationship turns sour. (PS be kind to these sensitive souls – whether you’re loving them or leaving them, it must always be with compassion + gentleness.)
These are the natural artists and musicians of the zodiac. The more energy they channel into those realms, the healthier they tend to be in their relationships.
If you want to win their hearts, become a romantic leading man or lady – bring it on with hearts ‘n flowers ‘n sonnets.
Theme song: Everything I Do by Bryan Adams
Celebrities with Venus in Pisces: Michelle Obama, Kurt Cobain, Justin Bieber, Céline Dion, Heath Ledger, Marilyn Manson.
Homework: find Venus in your chart. What does that tell you about yourself? Now – look up your Moon, which talks about your emotional needs. How might that impact your Venus? For example, my Moon is in Scorpio and my Venus is in Cancer – this shows that I tend to be devoted, emotionally intense, and I take relationships very seriously. These are two keys to understanding how you love – or how the ones around you do. Learn the Moon and Venus – and you’ll be better able to “get” your loved ones and probably get along with them better! (More on compatibility and how to grok that in later lessons…we’ve got lots of other stuff first!)
Next month we’re looking what drives us – Mars!
Keep gazing at the stars – and stay curious,
Miss a previous lesson? I’ve got ’em all right here for you.
adorable Venus image from stock photography