Tarot To The Rescue is a recurring feature. I’ll be tackling different life issues and showing you how tarot can be a valuable tool to help you navigate through these challenges. As a long time tarot reader, I have used the cards myself to seek guidance, check my own inner compass and find direction through those sticky moments in life. If you’d like to see me handle a dilemma here, please email me at email@example.com with your suggestion. (Please note: I am not accepting requests for actual readings on this column. I am only tackling issues in a general format. Also, this column – and tarot – is not a substitute for legal, medical or psychiatric help.)
There may come a time when you are faced with a dilemma and you wonder: should I?
As in: Should I go for it? Should I trust him? Should I accept this job? Should I marry this woman?
You may even find yourself consulting a tarot reader and asking that “should I” question.
While there is nothing really wrong with that (cause we love to help you!), step back for a moment and consider this:
You’re asking someone else – a complete stranger – to tell you what you “should” do. In other words, you’re taking the power and responsibility right out of your competent hands and giving that authority over to someone else. (Someone who, for all you know, makes horrendous decisions in their own life!)
Did I spook you? Good.
Here’s the deal: tarot can help you get clarity around a decision but the use of the word “should” in your question is disempowering – and it puts the onus of your life in the hands of someone else. (And if it doesn’t work out to your tastes, suddenly you have a convenient scapegoat: “that tarot reader/therapist/astrologer/BFF told me to do it” rather than accepting full on responsibility for your decisions.)
If you are hung up on issue and trapped in your own mental limbo, a better way of asking a question is to look at the energy around your situation so you can form a mindful decision that allows you to remain in the driver’s seat (and on the hook for the consequences and successes that follow).
After all, this is YOUR journey – a back seat tarot driver telling you what road you “should” be going down is not going to be helpful. A better tarot partner is one who sits beside you and looks at the map with you to find the route that you feel is best suited for you.
And that begins with inquiry and a reframe of those “should I” questions.
Should I continue to date Bob?
Transform the question:
What do I need to know about dating Bob?
What can I expect if I continue to date Bob?
What challenges might I face if I continue to date Bob?
The same reframe works well for “will I” questions. Will I is a fatalistic mindset and it once again, takes away your power in a situation. Check it out:
Will I marry Bob?
Transform the question:
What can I do to create a healthy and loving commitment with Bob?
What do I need to know about marrying Bob?
What might I need to work on in my relationship with Bob to move it towards commitment?
When you reframe those type of questions, your reading becomes proactive – and you become an active participant in your life decisions.
Taking responsibility for your life and your choices is powerful stuff. It’s the difference between a life that “happens to you” and a life that you create for your highest good.
“Take your life in your own hands, and what happens? A terrible thing: no one to blame.” ~Erica Jong
© Theresa Reed | The Tarot Lady 2013