The 4 Biggest Lessons I Learned About Relationships & Intuition

by Theresa Reed on August 14, 2013

Signs to follow

Ah, romance.  How we love to be in love and hate it when things get all murky and heartbreaky.  Sometimes a situation hits us by surprise but often, when we check our gut, we see the signs were there all along. Our romantic instincts never fail us if we choose to give them the attention they deserve.

And like anyone, I didn’t always listen to my own amorous sixth sense back in the day.  I was a pretty (wild) young thing and a hot long haired musician always trumped my better instincts (yeah,  I know….superficial Gemini, what can I say?).  And boy howdy, did I pay when I ignored those signs!

Here are the biggie lessons I learned about relationships ‘n intuition when I was back in the dating pool many lunar cycles ago:

  1. I was at the altar, all dressed in formal frothy vintage white (which is SO not me), ready to wed my first husband.  A sudden feeling of dread washes over me.  Was it my commitment phobia rising to the surface like a persistent whack a mole?  Or was it because he was red eyed, hung over and unshaven, which enraged me?  Or something else?  I turned and looked at the gathering of well wishers, all teary eyed and smiley,  and thought “it is too late to change my mind” (and oh, what would they think if I ran-away bride-ed it?).  It wasn’t too late.  In fact, I had been feeling this niggling thought for weeks.  I should have listened to my gut and ran like hell when I had the chance.  I would have avoided many years of drama.  Lesson #1 Never worry about what anyone else thinks – trust your gut, always.
  2. I’m dating a new man and we are a much better fit.  Long hair, same radical politics, lots of mutual interests to groove on.  Everything is super passionate and mentally stimulating (a must for this Gemini).  One day, we are at a demonstration for homeless rights when I saw her.  She sidled up to us and engaged in some political talk but I didn’t think much because she wasn’t very articulate.  A few nights later, I had a dream of her….with my man.  Next day, she shows up at another event and is all fluttery and girly acting (you ladies know what I’m talkin’ about here).  I take him aside a few days later and ask him “are you into her”.  No, he says…she’s just a nice girl.  So I trusted him.  (Stupid me.)  A few weeks later, we are supposed to meet for lunch and he keeps me waiting.  I catch a vibe, walk a few blocks and blammo – find them on a corner in a steamy goodbye kiss (and she almost got scalped by me right then and there).  Lesson #2 Sometimes dreams DO come true.
  3. Met a new guy at the park.  He’s my type: long hair, great smile, lanky ‘n skinny, and hilarious.  I hadn’t laughed that hard in ages.  He hits on me, hard.  But despite all the  witty repartee, something is off with this dude.  So I decide to listen to that vibe and decline.  A few weeks later, he’s on the front page for murdering his girlfriend, dismembering the body and other atrocities.  Gulp.  Lesson #3  If it looks good but smells rotten, it is probably rotten.
  4. I’m dragged to a hair metal concert by a music loving pal.  I have a weakness for musicians but not the hair metal type.  I went anyways with the intention of being the biggest bitch ever should I be approached by one of these guys (I did accomplish that mission but that’s another story).  Suddenly, I saw HIM from across the room.  Gorgeous, long hair, giant blue eyes, flashy clothes and a cigarette dangling from his mouth.  OH. MY. GOD.  My heart went ping pang and I felt a kick in the gut.  I said to my friend “That guy is exactly my type.  That is THE one.”  I got his name and caught his eye but it took a few years before we finally hooked up.  Many years later, we’re still together and he’s my very best friend (btw he was also strong armed into going to the same show – we both shared a mutual hatred for hair metal).  Lesson #4 Sometimes you just know.  Simple as that.  

The moral of these little stories is clear as ice: the signs are always there.  Whether it’s a freaky dream, a bad vibe or a “knowing”, in hindsight inner vision is always 20/20.

So tell me, what was the biggest lesson your love life taught you about your intuition – or vice versa?   I’m listening….



© Theresa Reed | The Tarot Lady 2013

PS I cranked out this post in record time at a workshop taught by my favorite word goddess, Alexandra Franzen. Want to learn to write fast, clear and like a boss?  Get your fine self to her word kicking workshops, Write Yourself Into Motion.  Yeah, they sell out fast – get on dat list, like NOW.

picture above from stock photography

PSPS: Here’s a pic of me ‘n a friend from back in the day (oh, the 80s!):



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Courtney Weber August 14, 2013 at 9:51 am

Wow, Theresa! Incredible stories! I love this post!!!

Theresa Reed August 14, 2013 at 10:01 am

Thanks Courtney! I’ve got lots ‘o crazy stories. We’ll have to grab some margaritas at RS14 and share a few. 😉

Sara Sommerfeld August 14, 2013 at 10:21 am

Love this article Theresa! It really is hard to listen to your intuition if it’s saying “hell no” , and you want to say “hell yes”, when you are really into someone and the chemistry rocks!!

Theresa Reed August 14, 2013 at 5:02 pm

YES Sara – chemistry, even with someone who is not Mr. Right, can certainly trump intuition. Been there, done that myself.

Lucinda Ora August 14, 2013 at 10:21 am

loved reading this… came at the right time! Thanks Therasa!

Theresa Reed August 14, 2013 at 5:02 pm

Thank you, Lucinda!

LK August 14, 2013 at 10:32 am

Great stories and picture, Theresa. #3 is frightening!

Here’s my story:

Many years ago, I was in a tough situation. One day, I sat in my room and asked for a sign that everything would be okay. That night, I went out with friends. At the last minute, we changed our plans, and ended up at a different place/city than we planned.

While we were out, I saw this guy and said to myself that there was something about him, but he had weird hair. He then looked over several times, but I thought he was looking at my friends since I had walked past him and he said nothing.

Later he came up to me and asked me to dance. From there, we dated and fell in love.

Although we haven’t been together in years, my prayers were answered at the time. He helped me through a difficult time and was meant to be in my life at that time.

Theresa Reed August 14, 2013 at 5:03 pm

LK, thanks for dropping by. And you illustrate a great point – sometimes people are meant to be in our lives for a certain time, not necessarily permanent.

Pam Free August 14, 2013 at 10:37 am

I met a guy at Esalen and he lived in Europe so I’d thought we’d have a wild fling. A month later when he said he would relocate to be with me, my heart screamed “NO, NO”.
But I didn’t want to hurt his feelings so we were together on and off for 9 years.
What a crazy girl I was back then!!!!

Theresa Reed August 14, 2013 at 5:03 pm

Ah, your heart warned you but then your heart made you hold back at the same time. That can be tricky, Pam!

DebP August 14, 2013 at 4:12 pm

I luv your posts Theresa!

I was at the altar and could barely speak above a whisper. My gut was telling me, ‘wrong wrong wrong’, but all my friends were married, and isn’t that the next step (I was 24, and considered ‘late’ back in the early 80s)? We were off & on for 8 years (that is a cycle re: important events in my life). Lesson learned with that relationship – you cannot change anybody, even if they change for you (no drugs & alcohol, in this case) temporarily just to ‘trap’ you. After all these years, I’m surprised he is still functioning (albeit, in a dysfunctional way).
Luv your posts, and thank you again.

Theresa Reed August 14, 2013 at 5:04 pm

Hi Deb

Your situation sounds very similar to mine. Thank you for sharing your story. XXOO

Vicki August 14, 2013 at 4:41 pm

I loved your article….so true to life. You are my tarot idol. I already bought 21 of the 25 books that you suggested on your Tarot “to read” list. They were all winners. Thanks so much Theresa…’re the best 🙂

Theresa Reed August 14, 2013 at 5:05 pm

Aw shucks….thanks Vicki! XXOO

Eva August 14, 2013 at 6:15 pm

This is great- I’m really trying to trust my intuition more as I’m awful at it! Lesson 1 is something I need to remember.

Robin August 14, 2013 at 7:15 pm

Wow, your #3…scary!! Loved hearing all of your stories. My biggest moment of intuition re: relationships happened when I went on my first date with my husband. We had coffee, and then decided to take a walk around the neighborhood. It was literally the second time I had ever seen him, and the first time we had hung out, but as we were taking the walk, I had this flash in my head…”I’m going to marry this man.” Boy, did I think I was crazy. While we had several things in common and I was having a pleasant time, there was no huge attraction for me and I though I must be nuts to think such a thing. I firmly believe in using one’s intuition, am a student of Tarot and have an interest in many things metaphysical, but it is amazing how one can deny that little voice inside! I was a year and a half out from a bad breakup of a long-term relationship, and hadn’t had much luck in love after that. I was really just trying to work on myself and see where life was taking me. A year later we were engaged and buying a house together. We will celebrate our 5th anniversary this Oct, as well as the 1 year birthday of our beautiful twin daughters, the day before our anniversary 🙂

Alexandra Franzen August 14, 2013 at 8:32 pm

Can we just stop EVERYTHING and talk about that PHOTO for a minute?!

You’re a total ’80s babe!

Look at that hair!

Theresa Reed August 14, 2013 at 9:52 pm

LOL Alex! Back in the day, I was a hottie. Oh, the stories I have to tell! (And pics galore!)

Alexandra Franzen August 15, 2013 at 1:30 am

Um, you are still a total hottie. Just more mature … and even wiser!

Theresa Reed August 15, 2013 at 7:01 am

LOL thanks for the vote of confidence. Been feeling more like lukewarm these days. 😉

Maureen August 15, 2013 at 5:35 am

Oh the hair!! Did you have Aqua-Net too?

Great post. I loved hearing about your hairpin turns on the romance highway!

Theresa Reed August 15, 2013 at 7:03 am

Oh yes, Maureen…..copious amounts of Aquanet. I’ve got some other “hair raising” pics. Think big red hair and plastic dresses! The 80’s were so much fun. That being said, I do NOT miss those days. Glad to be happily partnered.

Alyxandria August 16, 2013 at 8:24 pm

Right on! The signs are *always* there. We just have to read them and, this is key, accept them even if they tell us something we don’t want to hear at the moment.

And we used to call our hair in the 80s “Texas big hair.” Whip up some raw egg whites, apply to hair, blow dry into a hardened crust, add a half can of hairspray. And, voila, your hair was done and wouldn’t even move even if the winds of a hurricane were coming through. Ha!

Lisa October 24, 2013 at 1:04 pm

Very interesting, thank you. My boyfriend and I just broke up and I feel good (overall) about it. My “gut” kept me from accepting dates from him over the years and one day, I accidentally called him and we ended up falling in love in the fast lane. I’m glad I didn’t listen as I’ve learned a lot and had great times but my body knew that he wasn’t for me.

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