The 4 Biggest Lessons I Learned About Relationships & Intuition

Ah, romance. How we love to be in love and hate it when things get all murky and heartbreaky. Sometimes a situation hits us by surprise but often, when we check our gut, we see the signs were there all along. Our romantic instincts never fail us if we choose to give them the attention they deserve.

And like anyone, I didn’t always listen to my own amorous sixth sense back in the day. I was a pretty (wild) young thing and a hot long haired musician always trumped my better instincts (yeah, I know….superficial Gemini, what can I say?). And boy howdy, did I pay when I ignored those signs!

Here are the biggie lessons I learned about relationships ‘n intuition when I was back in the dating pool many lunar cycles ago:

I was at the altar, all dressed in formal frothy vintage white (which is SO not me), ready to wed my first husband. A sudden feeling of dread washes over me. Was it my commitment phobia rising to the surface like a persistent whack a mole? Or was it because he was red eyed, hung over and unshaven, which enraged me? Or something else? I turned and looked at the gathering of well wishers, all teary eyed and smiley, and thought “it is too late to change my mind” (and oh, what would they think if I ran-away bride-ed it?). It wasn’t too late. In fact, I had been feeling this niggling thought for weeks. I should have listened to my gut and ran like hell when I had the chance. I would have avoided many years of drama. Lesson #1 Never worry about what anyone else thinks – trust your gut, always.
I’m dating a new man and we are a much better fit. Long hair, same radical politics, lots of mutual interests to groove on. Everything is super passionate and mentally stimulating (a must for this Gemini). One day, we are at a demonstration for homeless rights when I saw her. She sidled up to us and engaged in some political talk but I didn’t think much because she wasn’t very articulate. A few nights later, I had a dream of her….with my man. Next day, she shows up at another event and is all fluttery and girly acting (you ladies know what I’m talkin’ about here). I take him aside a few days later and ask him “are you into her”. No, he says…she’s just a nice girl. So I trusted him. (Stupid me.) A few weeks later, we are supposed to meet for lunch and he keeps me waiting. I catch a vibe, walk a few blocks and blammo – find them on a corner in a steamy goodbye kiss (and she almost got scalped by me right then and there). Lesson #2 Sometimes dreams DO come true.
Met a new guy at the park. He’s my type: long hair, great smile, lanky ‘n skinny, and hilarious. I hadn’t laughed that hard in ages. He hits on me, hard. But despite all the witty repartee, something is off with this dude. So I decide to listen to that vibe and decline. A few weeks later, he’s on the front page for murdering his girlfriend, dismembering the body and other atrocities. Gulp. Lesson #3 If it looks good but smells rotten, it is probably rotten.
I’m dragged to a hair metal concert by a music loving pal. I have a weakness for musicians but not the hair metal type. I went anyways with the intention of being the biggest bitch ever should I be approached by one of these guys (I did accomplish that mission but that’s another story). Suddenly, I saw HIM from across the room. Gorgeous, long hair, giant blue eyes, flashy clothes and a cigarette dangling from his mouth. OH. MY. GOD. My heart went ping pang and I felt a kick in the gut. I said to my friend “That guy is exactly my type. That is THE one.” I got his name and caught his eye but it took a few years before we finally hooked up. Many years later, we’re still together and he’s my very best friend (btw he was also strong armed into going to the same show – we both shared a mutual hatred for hair metal). Lesson #4 Sometimes you just know. Simple as that.

The moral of these little stories is clear as ice: the signs are always there. Whether it’s a freaky dream, a bad vibe or a “knowing”, in hindsight inner vision is always 20/20.

So tell me, what was the biggest lesson your love life taught you about your intuition – or vice versa? I’m listening….

Blessings!

Theresa

PS I cranked out this post in record time at a workshop taught by my favorite word goddess, Alexandra Franzen. Want to learn to write fast, clear and like a boss? Get your fine self to her word kicking workshops, Write Yourself Into Motion. Yeah, they sell out fast – get on dat list, like NOW.

picture above from stock photography

PSPS: Here’s a pic of me ‘n a friend from back in the day (oh, the 80s!):