The Hit List - Asking For It

What is it about crowdfunders? Are they bold or just clueless?

At least every other week (sometimes more), I get an email from a complete stranger asking me to help with their crowdfunding campaign. It’s usually an obvious cut-and-paste form letter with my name slapped on as an afterthought.

Sometimes they don’t even bother to use my name.

Just: “Hey help my campaign by donating/promoting/writing about me on your blog” etc, etc.

Worse yet, some use guilt as a “motivator” to get me to say yes. (Unless you’re my mom or my kid, guilt trips don’t work very well around here.)

And then there are the ones who reach super-rude status by splashing their stuff on my social media pages without my consent. Um…gross.

I love supporting artists. I really do. And I do all the time. Especially if I know them personally and/or like their work. But for a stranger who has never even bothered to reach out before in friendship or is trying to make me feel guilty (or obligated)? No.

Asking for help is fine, and often, it’s necessary. It requires great courage to make a request, especially when there is money on the line.

It also requires tact.

Such as: an attempt to reach out in friendship before making that ask. An effort to establish some sort of genuine connection so that no one feels used. Asking language that is honest and respectful with zero hint of passive-aggressive guilt tripping (no obligation, period).

Yeah, that.

Wanna show up and ask someone to support your crowdfunding campaign? Do this:

Try to get to know them first. That means reaching out and saying hello! A good ask has a hint of courtship. There should be, at the very least, a pretense of being interested in the other party before thrusting a hand out and saying “give”. Better yet, actually BE interested in their world first. Do that and people will be more than happy to help you out. (PS Google is not some personal rolodex.)
Do you support their work in any way? Have you read their book? Tweeted their latest thing? Attended their event? Recommended them to your friends? Supported their crowdfunding thang? Start by being generous before asking others to be.
When you’ve established a relationship, reach out and make your big ask. But be personable. Do not send a form letter or, if you decide to use one, make it as personal as you can for each individual you contact. This is easy to do if you actually bothered to get to know them and their work.
Let them know what’s in it for them. For example, will they have an opportunity to promote their site through this? Will they get a kickback or a freebie for mentioning your product on their site? If you are asking them to interview you, how will you promote the interview and bring people back to their site?
Have a clear breakdown on how all monies gathered will be divided, especially if your project is charitable (I never contribute to a charity without an extremely detailed breakdown of expenses.). Be upfront about where that money is going.
Do NOT post links to your campaign on anyone’s Facebook page without permission. It’s crass.
If someone declines to get involved in your campaign, be graceful. Do not take that personally. Thank them anyways.
If you promise perks to ANYONE who donates to your crowdfunding thang, be sure to deliver what you promised, even if this is difficult for you. Be a pro. (I am STILL waiting on some perks years after I helped out a few campaigns. Seriously…there is NO excuse for this. This is one of my biggest pet peeves and why I usually shy away from these things.)

Be a class ask.

“The secret of life is knowing what you want and asking for it.” ~ Lailah Gifty Akita

TaoZen knows the proper way to ask: be adorable!

How I feel when a complete stranger tries to ram their crowdfunding campaign down my throat:

Other stuff:

I’m such a fan of photographer Vivienne McMaster’s work. This post about yoga selfies is great!

Vivienne partnered up with Anna Gest-Jelley, the founder of Curvy Yoga, for Practice, a class on self-portraiture and yoga.

Is jealousy sabotaging your prosperity? It might be.

From Gala Darling: How to get yourself unstuck (and massively increase your personal power). A great post on frenemies and the power of supporting other people’s success.

A Ramsay Bolton fan does exist.

I love Tabby Besley’s DIY Astrology posts over at Little Red Tarot. You will too.

“Fear has a way of sounding like truth.” Brilliance from Gemma Stone. Do read that post. You’re welcome.

TaoZen approves of this post: how to hug a cat.

I think Mayhem is just about the cutest little girl…ever. And she’s fashionable as hell.

From Melissa Cassera: Don’t hide your brushstrokes. Right on!

Fried chicken as a cure for a broken heart. Another great read from Esmé Wang.

“No” is exponential magic. I’m saying yes to saying no. Thanks, Victoria Prozan.

How to control impulse spending with a 30 day rule.

The Tarot Cat asks: Ever Made a Terrible Tarot Deck? And then he shows his. OMG.

Changing the face of Appalachia: looking at Appalachia anew with this great photo essay.

Curious about the origin of Whitewalkers, Wights and Dragonglass? Ask the Miester and you shall get your answers.

New from Jacquelyn Tierney and The Midheaven’s Amelia Quint: Twelve Faces of Style. Astrology + fashion + design = frigging amazing! Sign me up!

Do you need an espresso…and an exorcism? You’re in luck…but you’ll need to go to Bangkok.

Ashes and Wine Tarot created this great Rainbow Pride Spread just for Pride Month. Try it out!

The film on my must-see list: The Wolfpack. I love documentaries and this one looks very intriguing.

How to avoid being Catfished while internet dating. Not that I’m on the market but just in case.

Handy info: Which side is your good side and how to find it.

Judy Garland: the boss from hell. And everyone thought Joan Crawford was tough!

Cellphones may be able to help you lose weight in the not-so-distant future.

I do not like store-bought cookies but Brownie Batter Oreos? I may have to investigate these.

Great read from Feministing: reflections on where trans women stand in this moment of contradictions.

The best pajamas I have ever owned: Soma Cool Nights. Just got these about a week ago and they are the softest, most comfortable pjs EVER.

Miss Piggy is a feminist. And Kermit is one too!

Since the Duggar scandal broke, Quiverfull has been in the media. Pantheos is a great resource for understanding what this religious movement is all about.

Gorgeous photos of Buddhist temples. WOW.

Ready to learn tarot? Join me in Portland this July for a three hour immersion that will get you up and reading like a BOSS.

Ten documentaries for fans of street photography. Adding some of these to my list.

This book by yogi Alanna Kaivalya looks amazing: Sacred Sound: Discovering the Myth and Meaning of Mantra and Kirtan.

For every yoga lover on your list: Wanderlust: A Modern Yogi’s Guide to Discovering Your Best Self

I love Lissa Rankin’s work. This is her latest: The Fear Cure: Cultivating Courage as Medicine for the Body, Mind, and Soul

I am obsessed with Octopi and these little ice cubes are too cute: Fred and Friends COOLAMARI Octopus Ice Tray

Speaking of my many tentacled friends: The Soul of an Octopus: A Surprising Exploration into the Wonder of Consciousness

What I’m Grateful For:

Products for sensitive skin

Cell phone screen protectors

Large print on bottles