The Hit List - I solemnly swear
“Ooh woo, I’m a rebel just for kicks, now
I been feeling it since 1966, now” ~ Feel It Still by Portugal. The Man.

Those lyrics might as well have been written for me. I had rebellious streak early on and plenty of “controversial” ideas. Like the time I staged an anti-church protest…at four years old. Or my refusal to wear frilly dresses to kindergarten (which pissed my mother off to no end). And let’s not forget the time I decided that I needed to play priest and hand out peanuts for communion because I didn’t think it was fair that the dudes got to wear the cool clothes and boss people around. 

Don’t get me wrong – I wasn’t a “bad” kid per se. I just wasn’t a fan of rules and I was nosy about taboos.

When I was about eight, I got it in my head that I needed to swear. Out loud. But I knew I had to be clever about this idea to avoid trouble. I don’t why this idea became so important to me but I felt it had to be done, one way or another. 

This became a serious fixation that went on for a few days. It seemed like there was never a good “reason” to swear so I had to sit on it and quell my anxiety by trying to figure out which swear words might be the most enjoyable to say. In other words: which ones might have the most shock value. I finally settled on one and waited like a snake in the weeds for the right moment. 

The opportunity arrived. My little sis, who was five, came running into the dining room, waving a piece of paper. At that time, I was curled up in the old Morris chair, reading a book so I barely glanced up. I did not want to be pestered.

“Look at this picture I drew!” she said, as she pushed her childlike scrawl into my face (yes, I was an art snob at eight). I took a peek and saw her earnest attempt at an elephant. “Yeah, that’s great,” I replied.

“What should I name him?” The moment was here – and I was gonna seize it.

I looked into her big, innocent eyes and felt the faint flicker of a smirk beginning to form at the corners of my mouth. And then the words tumbled out as I tried to maintain my composure: “Why don’t you name him Harry Dick?”

As soon as I said that, I felt the rush of excitement that only comes with a job well done or a successfully executed crime. For a minute, I thought she would be too dumb to get it, which meant I could absolutely relish in the feeling of my first public swear word and perhaps celebrate privately with a can of Mountain Dew I had saved in the back of the fridge for special occasions like this. 

But this high was quickly interrupted by the dreaded words: “I’m telling.”

It turns out that she wasn’t quite as naive as I thought. She knew from the kids at school that “dick” was a dirty word even though she wasn’t sure what it meant. As she ran off to tell mom, I knew my goose was gonna get fried. But frankly…I didn’t care. I did the deed that I set out to do and in my eight-year-old mind, I succeeded.

Although I did get in trouble for this incident, it didn’t stop me. It was only the beginning.

The Hit List - I solemnly swear

Some other smart ass kid decided to put this on a fence in my hood. That poor fence has been vandalized again and again. Proof that all kids have dirty minds!

Other Stuff:

Gosh, I love it when haters are proven wrong: Gaga’s University Peers Had A FB Group Dedicated To Shaming Her For Trying To Be Famous.

These opium-addicted parrots are ruining things.

Aura CuriAtlas to debut tarot card-themed performance.

This Game of Thrones theory suggests that Dany and Sansa will NOT be friends.

From Sagittarian Mind: Astrology – One Size Does Not Fit All.

Go girl: my gal, Melissa Cynova gave a live tarot reading on tv!

I LOVE this little boy: 11-Year-Old Boy Lands Book Deal About Crocheting After His Creations Go Viral.

Lots of posts about psychic/healer frauds this week. Check out this from Jessi Huntenburg: How to detect psychic frauds and spiritual charlatans.

More on psychic frauds from LunaLuna Magazine: Healer or Trickster? On healers taking advantage of the vulnerable.

And from Sphere and Sundry: Differentiating Frauds from the Real Thing. (Sphere and Sundry have some intriguing magickal products. I just ordered an oil!)

From Courtney Weber: No, John Oliver. Not all psychics are frauds.

This makes me happy: ‘Extinct’ Galapagos tortoise believed to be found.

Let the speculation continue: Fans Just Discovered Something Alarming About This New Pic of Jon Snow…and It Doesn’t Look Good.

YES: Selma Blair Wants to Make More Fashionable Clothes for Disabled People.

How to Get the H.R. 8 Universal Background Checks Bill Passed in the Senate.

Pop star Girli gets her tarot cards read.

What’s a quincunx?

Pregnant Black Women Are Dying at Terrifying Rates—That’s Why I Chose an Unassisted Home Birth.

From Rachel Rodgers: How to create diversity within your online business.

Washington Governor Jay Inslee Has Entered the 2020 Presidential Race Running on a Single Issue: Climate Change.

Tarot Spirits: How to Pick And Work With Your Power Card.

The Unseen Freddie Mercury: Exploring the Private Man Behind the Bohemian Rhapsody Character.

A letter for people who don’t show up for their appointments: Dear no-show client.

Horrifying: 11-Year-Old Rape Victim Given C-Section After Being Denied Abortion.

Melissa Cynova’s next book, Tarot Elements – Five Readings to Reset Your Life, comes out next week!

This looks interesting: Spirit Means Business: The Way to Prosper Wildly without Selling Your Soul.

Ohhh: This Moment Is Your Miracle: Spiritual Tools to Transcend Fear and Experience the Power of the Present Moment.

Marianne Williamson has a new book coming out: A Politics of Love: A Handbook for a New American Revolution.

This cookbook looks divine: Where Cooking Begins: Uncomplicated Recipes to Make You a Great Cook.

I love reading about chefs: A Wealth of Insight: The World’s Best Chefs on Creativity, Leadership and Perfection.

Want to learn tarot but struggling to get started? The Tarot Coloring Book is a great intro (and totally fun!)

You can preorder Tarot For Troubled Times – a book about tarot, shadow work, rituals, activism, and courage. Take a peek inside:


Join photographer Danielle Cohen and yours truly for this amazing Tarot + Shadow Work + Photography workshop: Through a Tarot Lens. Date: March 9th. Location: Costa Mesa, California.

I’m teaching at New Renaissance Books in Portland, Oregon on July 2nd at 6:30. Tarot Cards for Shadow Work – Together we’ll explore shadow work, Tarot archetypes, Birth Cards, finding the good in “bad” cards – and the dark side in the “good” ones. You’ll come away with knowledge about your Tarot Birth Card and some suggestions for making peace with your shadow.

If you’re in the Bay Area, join Chris Zydel and me on July 7th for Brushes + Cards + Shadows An Intuitive Painting and Tarot Workshop. It will be EPIC!

What I’m Grateful For:

Naughty words

Silly ideas

Funny childhood memories

More hot tea, please

An end to winter looming

Travel soon


Soundtrack for 3/2/19:

The Barrel by Aldous Harding



© Theresa Reed | The Tarot Lady 2019

images from stock photography and personal collection


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