The Hit List - Just like me

When I was a young, wild thing hopped up on punk, it was easy to spot fellow musical misfits. We had our “uniforms”: ripped-up clothes, safety pins, and combat boots. But once the mainstream caught on, punk clothing was sold at the mall. It made it harder to determine who was into the same things or just cosplaying.

Fast forward a few decades, and I’m reading tarot for the public. My wardrobe is now yoga pants and snarky t-shirts. I’m also sporting a head of hair streaked with gray. I’ve become a “woman of a certain age.” Many of my clients were from the same demographic: white, mature, and maybe even yoga lovers. Sometimes, they wanted to talk about the state of the world. Their tone was a mix of fear and confidence with a side of right-wing talking points. They were scared of the world, but confident that they were speaking with someone who probably felt the same way. Because they looked just like me.

Even though I’ve always been clear on my political stance (lifelong anarchist), these women always seemed shocked when I disagreed with them. They assumed that because I looked just like them, I’d believe just like them. Sometimes the shock was followed by anger. In fact, most of the nasty messages I received over the years were from women just like that. (Shut up and shuffle!)

A few years ago, I was sitting outside my favorite taco truck, waiting for my usual. There was a line, so the chef was backed up. Two women, who looked just like me, white, mature, walked over to me with perturbed looks on their faces. They started complaining about how long it was taking and asked me if he was always this slow. I’m sure they expected commiserating.

I looked up from my phone and said, “His wife just had a baby. He’s trying to do this on his own.” Their furrowed faces turned red, and they skulked away. I watched them act fake-nice to the beleaguered chef and shook my head. Silly rabbits.

It’s interesting how we make assumptions based on appearance, only to discover the other side isn’t the same. Sometimes, it can be distressing to learn the “uniform” means nothing at all. No matter how much I’d like to find musical comrades with The Clash as their first political influence, I’ve learned to take nothing at face value. You shouldn’t either.

After all, not every gray-haired person in yoga pants is a hippie or a conservative wine mom. Underneath the human suit might be something radically different than what you imagine. Different than you.

Theresa

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