The Hit List - Notes From The Long Haul

There’s something to be said about staying at something a long, long time: it’s not easy.

Whenever you make the decision to commit to your grind, your sweetheart or the parenting gig, you’re going to learn some mighty big – and surprising – lessons along the way.

I’m a bonafide commitment-phobe…yet I somehow managed to stick with my career and relationship for twenty-plus years (I’m also sorta ballsy like that – I go against my own nature all the time). I also have two adult kids who have turned out pretty damn good despite my (alleged) Joan Crawford ways (my nickname is Mommie Dearest around here).

So what were the big takeaways?

Work:

The longer you do your thing, the better you get. Experience builds skill.

There will be days where you don’t feel like doing jack shit. You might be under the weather, burnt out, hormonal, or just plain not feeling it. But you go in anyways. Because you have a mission and missions cannot, must not be abandoned, even on down days.

You must adapt to technology or risk getting lost in the shuffle. Yes, you need a computer.

You can’t please everybody and you can’t help everybody. Some people just want to be mad, sad, broken, or living drama-fueled lives. They may even get angry at you or blame you if you don’t tell them what they want to hear. Do your best and don’t take it personally if they take it out on you. (You have to let go of a LOT of stuff.)

There will be periods of feast. And periods of famine. Learn the magical art of money management and budgets.

Time off = yes.

Camaraderie amongst peers is essential for your well-being. Seek out like-minded colleagues for fun and support. (Avoid the bummers as much as possible. They’ll only drag you down to their misery-loves-company-level. It’s a tarpit, trust me.)

Marriage:

Intimacy requires effort. Say yes to opportunities to snuggle. Don’t give each other an excuse to stray.

Time apart is essential. Have your own friends, your own hobbies. Take some trips without your partner. Give each other room to breathe.

Figure out who does what best early on. This will save you no end of grief. (Discovering my ineptness in dishwashing was important for this marriage.)

Communicate, communicate, communicate, communicate. Got it?

Always say thank you – even for the tiniest efforts. A man who takes out the garbage and vacuums the floor is a man that is well appreciated around here – and he knows it!

Adult kids:

Grown adult kids have their own agendas and it’s probably not the agenda you want. Back off.

Do more listening, less advice-giving. Only give advice if asked.

Stay out of their relationships, even if you loathe their partner. Do not be the mom that drives them away because you can’t be nice to their beloved. There may be grandkids one day. Just sayin’.

Don’t kiss every boo-boo. Give them support as needed but encourage them to figure shit out on their own. A few hard knocks is often good fodder for growth.

Grown children still appreciate home baked cookies. Act like you know and keep ‘em coming.

That’s all I know so far. I wonder what insights the next twenty-something years might bring.

What have your long term commitments taught you so far?

Other stuff:

What’s a first year as a tarot pro like? Get the straight-up truth from Dreadlock Tarot.

Are you a fan of those “school voucher programs”? Read this post on the ALEC agenda to destroy public education with school vouchers and think again.

If you have some haters in your life, you’ll want to spend this much time with the ones who cheer you on to combat their crap energy.

If you’re ready to get in tune with your intuition, Elle North has the program for you! Introducing: Wisdom Within.

A little bling for cat butts.

Loving Amelia Earhart’s thoughts on marriage.

Impression: what your body goes through when you wear too-tight undergarments. Throw away the spanx, please. (I refuse to ever wear ’em.)

Baby’s First Tarot – great suggestions for your tarot-loving tot from Tiferet Tarot!

My favorite post of the week is from Gemma Stone: choosing love is an act of courage. I NEEDED to read this.

Pics of the rarely-seen Mascho Piro tribe of Peru.

How much should you share online? All Things shares her thoughts on sharing.

New from Debra Smouse: 4 Ways 50’s Housewives Were RIGHT About Happy Marriages. #2 is right on – and reminds me: I need to invest in some better lounge pants!

I love checking out old houses. This renovated pre-revolutionary war home is magnificent!

Judd Apatow is pretty outspoken about the Cosby scandal. He’s even doing stand up.

Celebrities sure like to promote products on Instagram. I didn’t realize there was such a big market for this – and for tooth whitening and “energy tea” gimmicks. (What the hell is “oil pulling”?)

Dig this truth: Sandra Bland and Other “Angry Black Women”.

I would so fail this eighth grade test from 1912.

More predictions for Game of Thrones Season 6. (Please let #3 be true!)

There are 4 types of drunks. I’m a Hemingway. What about you?

Don’t look up in Portland.

How a software developer cleverly outsourced his job and then lost it. Lazy dumbass.

That ^^ guy should have read Little Red Tarot’s review of the 4 Hour Work Week.

Loving these old time ads: sugar will trim your appetite. Um…not so much.

Justine Musk explains what it takes to become a billionaire. Hint: it’s not just hard work and/or luck.

If your wife leaves you with nothing but the dog, make art.

A peek inside Lululemon (I refuse to shop there btw).

Just signed up for Sparkles – LIVE! a new creativity program from Jamie Ridler Studios. (I need all the creative help I can get around here!)

I’m an INFJ. Here’s how to be friends with me. This shizz is very true!

Top o’ my reading wish list: Big Magic: Creative Living Beyond Fear

Makeup that will last through a heat wave and not get your skin all dried up? YES please: CoverGirl Outlast Stay Luminous Foundation, Creamy Natural, 1 Ounce.

I’ve also gone nuts over this mascara: CoverGirl Super Sizer by Lashblast Mascara, Very Black, 0.40 Ounce. It is better than any other expensive mascara I’ve ever used!

This book looks great: Light Is the New Black: A Guide to Answering Your Souls Callings and Working Your Light

I cannot get enough books on manifesting: The Abundance Loop: 8 Steps to Manifest Conscious Wealth

What I’m Grateful For:

Space

Not coughing

The Fountain Tarot

Floss

Time to write

Schedules

Soundtrack for 7/25/15: Unlock the Swag by Rae Sremmurd – this one is super catchy!