The Hit List - Road Tripping Out

I returned from my book tour a few days ago. As the old saying goes, “there is no place like home.” While I did sleep in comfy beds, I’m happy to be in my own. Because I’m a creature of habit, my routines are best in my space.

That being said, I got out of my comfort zone for the last leg of my tour. Instead of taking the train or relying on my husband to cart me around, I decided it was time for a solo road trip. I’ve taken a few of these back in the day, so I’m not a total chicken. However, these would be longer journeys. As in up to eighteen hours. Gulp.

On the first trip (which was the shorter of the two), I made the mistake of listening to my sister, who advised me to leave later in the day to “avoid Chicago rush hour.” Turns out rush hour doesn’t end at 10 AM…and I ended up in Detroit rush hour, too. Couple this with the awful construction in Michigan, and you’ve got a white-knuckled me with the most tense shoulders ever. Ugh. Lesson learned: do not listen to my sister.

The second trip would involve two eight-plus-hour drives to arrive at my destination. I had no problems getting to Pennsylvania, the halfway point. (I left early to avoid rush hour.) But the second part was a bit hairy. When I booked this trip, I did it around my schedule…and didn’t realize FIFA would be happening at the same time. I got stuck again in rush hour…in the Boston area. At least the drivers were polite. However, this added about an extra sixty minutes to my journey, which meant stiff shoulders and clenched jaw muscles. Lesson learned: check the sports calendar before you book something.

I spent a night in New Hampshire before heading home. For some dumb reason, I didn’t realize this meant I was going to be driving mountain roads…in fog and rain. Did I mention I’m deathly afraid of heights? And fog? And I hate driving rain? This was the scariest part for me. I gripped that wheel like I was trying to strangle a rabid dog while praying to Saint Christopher to keep me safe. I made it…kind of. Lesson learned: study the terrain first.

The next day, I left early. Once again, my goal was to avoid Chicago rush hour – and rain. You probably can guess what happened next. Road construction slowed me down, and I ended up snarled in Chicago traffic. Scary traffic to boot. Some idiots drove like maniacs, almost side-swiping me! My shoulders were up to my ears, but I gritted my teeth and kept going. Soon, I was out of the traffic…and in the middle of a rainstorm. As the young folks say: FML! The only thing keeping me sane was my sister, who patiently listened to me as I kvetched my way through Illinois. Lesson learned: you cannot control the weather or traffic, no matter how much you attempt to micromanage.

When I was finally home, I announced to my husband that I might be done with traveling altogether. I thought I’d be a hardy road warrior, but the road taught me I’m not the boss. So it’s back to the comfort zone, my massage therapist, and less stress. But who knows? Destiny may call again. In that case, I just need to figure out how to teleport.

Theresa

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