In celebration of International Women’s Day, I’m interviewing some very strong and dynamic women on my site this month. We’ll be talking about empowerment (and a little tarot and intuitive arts as well).
Any woman who has ever been through a divorce knows what a terrifying experience it can be. But hear this: it can also be liberating and empowering. Divorce counselor and family meditator Candace Smyth joins me today to talk about women and power (and divorce) in this enlightening interview.
Q: What does it mean to be a powerful woman?
Candace: To be powerful is be a warrior goddess. What that means to me is standing up and centered even in the face of true fear. We may fall down and hit the floor with our hands, we may cry ourselves to sleep, we may drink a bottle of wine alone, but then we get back up and breathe and face whatever it is we are in fear of and we move forward. We take action. We move through the fear and get to the other side. We stand in our own grace — we allow others to see our vulnerability. We smile sincerely and lovingly.
Q: When do you feel most powerful?
Candace: In the morning. After a yoga class or after truly connecting with my inner wise woman. After making love with my husband when our daughter is not home and we have the entire house to ourselves.
Q: Tell me about an experience in your life that made you feel empowered.
Candace: Making my way through my divorce. I saw step by step how I unfolded as a human being through that process. I felt abandoned, shameful, I hated myself, blamed him and myself — negative emotion? I felt it. Once I found myself again, I was tapped into the possible and saw how my journey had empowered me. It is always the journey that empowers isn’t it? Wow. In every part of my life, I realize that in those moments of pain, if we see that a lesson, an opportunity is there — we grow empowered.
Q: What inspires you to be on your path?
Candace: I know what it is like to live as a victim and feel powerless, and it hurts me to the core when I see others in that place. I know we have a choice and if we choose to be free, if we choose a different path, we step out of the suffering. It is so important — lifetimes important for me — for all people to know they have the power within themselves to change their circumstances. I grew up in a small town in Alabama and wanted more than anything to be loved and accepted for who I was. I then chose to leave, and I want others to know that whether they leave or stay — it is their choice but life is what we make of it period.
In divorce, it is very easy to fall into that state of mind where we feel powerless, like it is beyond our control. I’ve been there believe me, and when my daughter was not quite two years old. But, it is when we stand up and decide to take control of what we do have control over — take responsibility for our part in the marriage and failure of it. It is when we do this that miracles happen. The relationship and divorce shift. The child or children smile again and feel secure. This is what I am all about and why I do what I do.
Q: How can tarot or other intuitive arts help women feel empowered?
Candace: I use tarot and color wisdom cards to help ground me every morning. I meditate and then do a short reading to help me be intentional for myself, my family and my clients through the rest of the day. It connects me and others to the divine spirit within and that is what makes me whole and feel like everything is okay, the universe is working for my best interest right now and always. When you know you are okay, you are instantly empowered to move forward. Amen.
Candace Smyth is a Family Mediator, Speaker and Writer in Washington, DC. After practicing law as a litigator for 12+ years and then going through and healing from her own divorce, she decided to open a divorce mediation and coaching practice to help couples mindfully and holistically get through the divorce process. Candace facilitates a mediation process that focuses on grounding the parties and calming important triggers so that the couple walks away with a divorce agreement and a well-defined reformed relationship to be able to lovingly and effectively co-parent their children. Candace provides both on line and in person North Star Sessions™ workshops and coaching focusing on being the hero in your divorce so that individuals are supported and empowered to take affirmative, self-made movement forward in the divorce process and life. She believes divorce is one of those pinnacle opportunities for personal growth & transformation. You can find more information at her site: Candace Smyth and you can follow her on Twitter at @CandaceSmyth
Much gratitude for Candace for sharing her wisdom with my readers!
© Theresa Reed | The Tarot Lady 2013