The Hit List - Me Talk Spiritual One Day

Many moons ago, I was having a conversation with a self identified “spiritual person” (she wore that title like a badge) about my experience with pathological liars. I had just banished one from my orbit and was still reeling – and angry – from the experience.

So what did my “spiritual” friend have to say about my venting? “You are not happy because you are seeing something of yourself reflected in this person. He’s a mirror to you.”

Huh?

If there is one thing I am known for, it’s honesty – NOT lying. When I protested her assumption, she added “I was once like you before I became enlightened”.

Whhhaaaa?

After I regained my composure from laughing out loud and almost gagging at the same time, I walked away from the conversation. I am not into being spiritually shamed by any one – no matter how pious and awakened they claim to be.

I don’t dig self anointed gurus nor do I ever want to be one myself (I’m an anti-guru).

Which means I tend to shy away from overtly spiritual talk when my clients come in the door (you are more likely to hear me talk about Game of Thrones than the latest Marianne Williams book).

In my line of work, it is tempting to go that holier than thou route and pretend to be the incarnation of the Dalai Lama or some pop psychologist. But often those well meant spiritual platitudes can lead to a less compassionate reading. (I know that sounds convoluted but hear me out.)

People need a non-judgmental zone to work out complex situations and emotions. When a client is seeking relief, the last thing they need is a holy guilt trip laid on them – or a bunch of vague koan-like riddles that leave them more confused or feeling “less enlightened than” the reader.

I never want to make anyone feel worse for their sometimes bad decisions or normal human emotions. My mission is to allow people to feel safe to be as they are and then guide them gently towards finding a healthy way to work through their issues.

Which means:

My lingo is more practical and gritty (and not very pretty or woo-tacular).
I allow people to have shit feelings and try not to make them feel worse for it.
I don’t push forgiveness talk (If you are not ready to forgive, don’t. Insincere forgiveness means nothing.).
I don’t judge them if they are in a situation that is “morally wrong” (Frankly, I don’t care who you sleep with or what you do – I’m only interested in helping you make healthier decisions from the moment you walk in my door).
I encourage boundaries rather than turning the other cheek (If you are being treated poorly by someone, I’m the first one to say walk away from that crap).
I am all about taking personal responsibility for your life (can’t blame your life on bad luck, law of attraction or any devil making you do stuff).
I don’t push my beliefs on them (I am actually more spiritual than you may know – but to me, spirituality is personal and my truth may not be your truth).

On occasion, I deal with people who need a “tarot smack down” (yes, some people do WANT to get yelled at) but most people simply want to process their lives in a way that makes them feel heard and respected and doesn’t involves spiritual shaming.

Hey, I can speak fluent woo with the best of them. But at the end of the day, it’s not me nor do I feel it’s always helpful. (My words lean more towards urban than turban.) If you’re looking for an enlightened being who speaks like a wizened poetic sage, you’re barking up the wrong tarot tree. But if you like your reading straight up with a side of heart ‘n rap, let’s crunk this shizz out!

My cat is my guru!

Other stuff:

I’ve been slowly working on decluttering things around here using the wisdom I got from my interview with Debra Smouse. (Pssst she’s got a special deal for my readers at the bottom of the post!)

Really digging Gala Darling’s Do/Dare/Dream 30 Day Course. <-Get on it!

Rosy Blu has a new ecourse too: Love What You Have <-Get on the wait list for the next round. This is seriously rewiring the way I look at my stuff!

This is at the top of my Xmas list: The New Midwestern Table: 200 Heartland Recipes by Amy Thielen. Yummy Midwestern fare for this Midwest gal!

Sometimes I hate “selflies” which is why this post cracked me up: 16 Worse Types of Selfies

My parents had some cockamamie ideas on fashion but I’m so glad that I didn’t have Michelle Duggar as my go to person on how to dress.

If you’ve suffered loss (death, divorce, even the loss of a job), then you need to grab this book by Christina Rasmussen: Second Firsts: Live, Laugh, and Love Again. It’s the most compassionate and loving book on starting over. A MUST READ for all of us.

What I’m Grateful For:

A night off

Sticky notes

A purring cat

Brand new chairs that are so comfy I don’t want to get up

Daily exercise

Friendly baristas that know how I like my drink

Getting lovely gifts from my baby sister

Soundtrack for 11/9/13: Sh!t by Future <-I dig this man!