How do you deal with a client who is hell bent on asking tarot the same question again…and again…and again? I was recently asked this by a fellow tarot reader and thought I would offer my suggestions here.
There are times when it is appropriate to revisit a question, especially if things have changed. For example, if you are in an on-again off-again relationship and have recently decided to end it, you may have new questions about the situation.
That’s totally valid.
I’ve also worked with clients who are running large corporations, building new enterprises, or are in the midst of major life changes such as a divorce – in those cases, there are often twists and turns that may call for more frequent readings. These examples are legitimate reasons to come back to a question for more guidance.
Tarot can be a helpful ally during unpredictable times. (I have used it myself more frequently when my own life was tumultuous and it’s always been beneficial.)
But in some situations, tarot can become a useless crutch for people who are approaching it in an obsessive manner or looking for a reading to validate something “they want to hear.” I’ve found this to be especially true for the “will he come back” queries.
When someone is desperate to reconcile with a lost love, they may turn to tarot with the hope to see a valiant return and a happy-ever-after ending. They will hit that question again and again, day in and day out, spending tons of money, pounding away in an attempt to stay hopeful, even if it’s obvious that the other person is long gone. In many cases, they will go from reader to reader to get the answer they want – and if you don’t confirm the outcome they desire, they’ll get angry and let you know that “all the other readers said he’d return.”
This is one of the hardest situations for tarot readers and metaphysical practitioners to work with. How can you remain helpful when someone persists on beating a dead tarot horse?
If you come across the repeat questioner in your tarot business, remain compassionate. Your client may be in great pain and turning to you may be the first step towards getting help for their issues.
Be honest about what you see, even if it’s not what they want to hear. You can deliver a hard truth with kindness.
Do not feed illusions, even if the client is trying to gerrymander the reading to get the answer they want. If they tell you that “other readers said the opposite”, do not concern yourself with that. Your mission is to be truthful and helpful, not agree with “every other reader.”
Set healthy boundaries. If a client seems to be coming too often and noodling around the same question, let them know that they need to put space between their readings. This is especially important for YOU because obsessive energy can be draining. Plus, a healthy amount of space keeps you objective.
Sometimes the outcome may be exactly what the client wants – but they may be revisiting you because it hasn’t happened…yet. I’ve done readings where the same outcome came up repeatedly…but it took a lot longer to manifest. If the outcome remains unchanged after a few readings, you may need to advise your client to be patient.
Give helpful advice. Sometimes that advice may be a referral to a licensed therapist. Have a list of referrals handy.
In certain cases, you may have to refuse to work with the client. In my experience, this has been rare. At some point, things either work out or the client heals and moves on from whatever they’ve been obsessing over.
In some situations, they will move on to a different tarot reader who will be more than happy to take their money and give them the false hope they want. This sucks and you may feel bad but don’t. They have free will and that means the freedom to believe what they want. Bless them and send them on their way.
Helping a client navigate life’s choppy (and unpredictable) waters can be immensely rewarding but it’s up to you to recognize when that help…isn’t helpful. The more you remain grounded in your truth and healthy boundaries, the more helpful you’ll be, even in the case of a needy client who wants that tarot pot to boil…now.
“Desperation can make a person do surprising things.” ~ Veronica Roth, Allegiant
© Theresa Reed | The Tarot Lady 2015
image from stock photography