through-others-eyes

Sometimes it’s best not to ask husbands certain questions.  You may not like the answer you get.

For example, I know better than to ask if those pants make my ass look big. I leave that one alone so that I can happily wear them with all the denial in the world as I pop another dark chocolate peanut butter cup.

I should have kept that “don’t ask and he won’t tell policy” in mind before I opened up my mouth and asked my husband if he thought I was “type B” and “introverted” – which is how I see myself.

“Not at all.  You’re type A, extroverted, and dominant.”

Dominant? Really?

“Yep. You like to be in control.”

Well then.  I always thought he was the one guilty of those characteristics but according to him, so am I.

Hmmm…..

I ended up pondering this for weeks – and occasionally brought it up to try and renegotiate his perceptions.

I even asked my kids to back me up but they mumbled something about bossiness (or was it bossing up?) and exited that conversation like gazelles on fire.

Type A? Extroverted? Dominant?  The last part bothered me the most.  I surely don’t see myself in that way, damn it.  I’m passive!  Easy going!  I let others take the lead!  I’m a peacemaker!  Well….that’s what I tried to tell myself but, on further examination, I had to admit that I do tend to be the person who “takes over” when shit goes sideways.  I do not like to be told what to do so I make a lousy submissive anything.  And although the extrovert part IS not true in my mind, I’m pretty damn friendly and outgoing…when I feel like it.

Sigh.  Husbands.

It’s interesting (and revealing) to step into someone else’s eyes and see what they see.  It’s not always the same thing that you see when you look in the mirror.

While other’s perceptions of you might be right…or wrong, what matters most is how you see yourself.

If you can view yourself with love and compassion, then that is good enough.

You’re not here to mold yourself into what you think you “should” be – or what you think others might like.  You’re here to be you, in all your unvarnished, imperfect, cat obsessed, alleged control freak (I stand accused) glory.

Be you. Love the you you are.  And those significant others?  Love ‘em too for you probably see them in ways that they don’t see themselves either.  (I am compiling a list of my perceptions for my husband.)

free to bee

He’s free to bee!

Other stuff:

Note to my husband: the world’s oldest living woman said the secret to her longevity is raw eggs and staying single.

Interested in creating a podcast?  Paul Jarvis, Kathleen Shannon, Emily Thompson and Jason Zook have the class for you: Podcast like a Boss.

It’s Gemini season!  Here are 9 songs every Gemini should listen to.

Travel season is also upon us. Here are the 8 worst airports for travel delays.

I’m going to try the “snowball method” for packing on my next trip.

Kate Courageous nails it in this post: Personal Responsibility – This Isn’t Mine.  Because sometimes, it’s not you…it’s them.

Great advice from Laura Simms: 10 Tips for New Bloggers. 

Need help stepping into the spotlight?  Enter Tanya Geisler, Star Tipper.

Tarot cards for projects and planning – good stuff from the always awesome Beth Maiden!

I am beginning to think that Kelly Diels is my hero. With posts like On the ‘Mental Triggers’ of Online Marketing, The Female Lifestyle Empowerment Brand, Assessing Who Deserves Your Money, and Why We Should Be Skeptical of Makeover Stories, it’s hard not to see why she should be yours too.

Hot off the presses: 101 Tarot Spreads by 20 Modern Tarot Masters.  (I have a few spreads featured in this book!)

Cannot wait to see Lena Dunham’s new documentary Suited.  I love everything this woman does!

Intense post: what it’s like to have sex with strangers for money when you’re withdrawing from heroin.

How to host the potluck of your dreams.  I am all about this idea!

Lauren Goff thinks the work-life-balance question needs to stop. I agree.

I love Amy Zerner’s post for Marie Claire on Aromatherapy for your Zodiac Sign.  Lavender is one of my favorite scents and perfect for Geminis!

Swimsuit guides for 8 year olds?  Seriously?  Why does an 8 year old need to be concerned with this?  Just put on a damn suit and play with your sandcastle, girls!

Yes, Kesha – I am so down with this!  (8 year olds, take note.)

Thoughtful post from Girlboss Woo: Musings on religious trauma and tarot.

Kelly-Ann Maddox is one of my favorite biz whizzes.  Her latest is not to be missed: WONDERWORKER – Check out my 5 tips for your heart-centred business.

Chris Arnade writes some of the most compelling, gut-wrenching things on the web.  His follow up on his friend Shelly is a must read (I’ve been following the story of Shelly for years now).

Intriguing post from Integrated Tarot: Why Relationship Readings Don’t Work – And 3 Provocative Questions That Can Turn Your (Love) Life Around.

Summoning the spirits in post-earthquake Haiti.

Nancy Drew is “too female” for television.

I am all sorts of interested in the Triby. I wonder if it gives me the power to pester my husband from another part of the house?

A “porn burger”?  OMG gimme!

Just what I need – Sprint: How to Solve Big Problems and Test New Ideas in Just Five Days.

Always interested in tidying up my shizz: Work Clean: The life-changing power of mise-en-place to organize your life, work, and mind by Dan Charnas.

On my wish list for January: The Capsule Wardrobe: 1,000 Outfits from 30 Pieces by Wendy Mak.

Also on my list: Classical Feng Shui for Health, Beauty & Longevity: Transform Your Space to Enhance Well-Being in Body & Home. 

 

What I’m Grateful For:

Reliability

Ease in my day

Slow season

Curiosity

Support from friends and family

Yoga

Being well again

 

Soundtrack for 5/21/16: “Let’s Be Bad” by Childbirth <-This video cracks me up!  I want to attack a doll cake too!

Blessings,

Theresa

© Theresa Reed | The Tarot Lady 2016

images from stock photography and personal collection

Sign up for my newsletter and get free bi-monthly content on tarot, astrology, and more.

I respect your email privacy

Pin It on Pinterest