My Mother Through Tarot Eyes

I think it’s safe to say that most children want a mom who embodies the qualities of the Empress: warmth, nurturing, indulgent and earthy. I know I certainly wanted that kind of mom.

Instead, I got the Queen of Wands: fiery, hot tempered, industrious and at times, a bit self centered. And when she fell ill, the energy became more like the Empress reversed – she was the one needing the nurturing. And I was the one she leaned on for this.(Which was not an easy mix as my energy is pure Queen of Swords and I’m probably the last person to come to when it’s sick time – anything squeamish and I’m instantly distant.)

While at times I struggled with my mother, over the years I came to appreciate so much about her feisty Queen of Wands energy. She may have only been 4’ 11” but she was a dynamo. She handled four hot blooded kids (we inherited her temper) with a tiny iron fist. No matter how ill she was, every week she baked bread. And not just a few loaves – this was enough to feed an army. Plus coffee cakes, rolls, kuchens and the like (we ate very well).

And let’s not forget the mountains of laundry. On an old fashioned washing machine and hung outside to dry no less!

My mother also had the task of taking care of an ailing mother in law on top of all of this. For me to assume she wasn’t nurturing because I rarely got that one on one attention growing up was an error only a child could make.

As I became an adult with two children of my own, I learned quickly that Empress energy is nice in theory but sometimes it’s not what kids need. My poor kids had to endure my logical but at times overly critical Queen of Swords nature. I am the parent you want on your side when there is some real bullshit going down – but I’m not the one you want doing the discipline when you screw up.

Ironically, my children got that Empress energy from an unlikely source: my mother. When she became a grandmother, the Queen of Wands was dropped and her whole persona changed. She became the most loving, kindest, affectionate and indulgent grandmother you could ever imagine. The sharp tongue was gone and my kids could do no wrong in her eyes. I enjoyed watching her treat them this way.

In fact, I vicariously ate up that Empress energy through their relationship with her.

My mother has been gone almost seven years. I still miss her every day. I miss the camaraderie, the laughs, the gossip, even the aggravation. Like most mother daughter relationships, we had a complex connection but ultimately, it was close in our own way.

I can only imagine the day I become a grandmother. Will I still retain the Queen of Swords mode or will I too become the loving, spoiling Empress? I look forward to finding out one day.

“Now that… my kids are grown, I understand how much work and love it takes to raise and to keep a family together. The example of your strength, devotion, and patience is now rippling through the generations. Thank you!” ~Forest Houtenschil

Blessings!

Theresa

(PS in case you are curious, I’m the little girl with the pixie hair cut off to the side, squinting in the sun.)