Stars Crossed - How to Get Along with Virgo

The Stars Crossed series focuses on astrological compatibility. While it’s way more complicated than just your Sun sign, we’re starting off with the Sun because it is an important part of your astrology profile. After all, it’s your core personality. 

This month, we look at Virgo. Keep in mind this will be general info. As we progress in this series, we’ll look at many other details so you can get the complete picture of the Virgo in your life (or yourself).

I grew up with a Virgo father and brother. My partner is a Virgo, too. Needless to say, I have plenty of experience living with these earthy astrological folks, so I have plenty of opinions. By the way, Virgos love opinions – and they are not afraid to share their critiques, so I guess we’ll count this as an Even Steven post.

What to know about Virgo:

Element: Earth
Quality: Mutable
Symbol: The Virgin
Ruling Planet: Mercury
Key Phrase: I analyze.
Traits: intellectual, analytical, critical, perfectionist, detail-oriented

When you meet a Virgo, there are two things you might notice right away: their neat appearance and reserved demeanor. You’ll rarely find them in slob mode (although some have secret slovenly ways), nor are they dancing around the room with a lampshade over their heads. It’s not that they care what other people think. Instead, they care what THEY think. Many of them had fastidious parents who instilled good hygiene and manners. Others grew up with messy types and vowed to never be the same. Some simply enjoy the feeling of freshly laundered duds because it makes them feel good. Does it really matter the cause of their well-groomed appearance and cautious manner?

Most Virgos tend to have compulsive behavior. Sometimes it manifests as neat freaking. Other times, it’s the micromanaging (aka nagging). This can make it hard for the folks who have to live with them. If you’re under the same roof, you can be assured they’ll have cleaning routines and a place for everything. If you don’t like that, you might want to close the room to your private space while maintaining some sort of compromised order in shared rooms. If you cannot do that, they may pick up after you but won’t let you forget about it.

While acts of service are their love language, Virgos hates being the responsible one all the time. Yet, they are often thrown into those roles because they are good at handling messes and solving problems. This leads to a vicious circle where they end up with the lion’s share of the work and little credit for their good efforts. If you have a Virgo in your life, appreciation goes a long way. Even better, do things for them without asking. Be an equal in shared labor. They’ll love you to bits for that. (Fun fact: a friend once asked my husband what he loved about me. His answer: competence.)

Virgos has a reputation for perfectionism, and many will agree it’s true. It’s not that they are Felix Ungers trying to control everything (although some of those types exist). Instead, they want everyone to be comfortable. They want to fix things and be useful. How beautiful is that?

Although Virgo is the Virgin, they are far from chaste. On the surface, they’re squeaky clean, but most have vivid imaginations and dirty minds. This means they are delightfully naughty lovers…once they’ve decided you meet their standards (number one rule: smell great).

Because they are a mutable sign, they are adaptable. That means they can go with the flow – up to a point. Their earthy nature will kick in if it doesn’t make sense. Then, they’ll get busy trying to adjust matters so everything flows right.

Sometimes, they make a god out of being right. They’ll come with facts, figures, and little graphs to prove their point. You might as well forget about arguing with them when they are in that mood. That will only inspire them to search for the equation that settles the score. They also have prickly tempers, which can spike up at a moment’s notice, usually when they’re busy. But the thing that is the most challenging is their tendency to criticize. While they’re often correct, the delivery leaves much to be desired. If you are on the receiving end of one of their biting critiques, it’s best to laugh and go on about your business (they hate that) or clap back with your own review. That usually ends their bullshit because underneath all that pompous verbal disapproval lies a sensitive person who just wants to make things better. Give them a hug, tell them you love them as they are, and all is well again.

Romancing a Virgo: The way to Virgo’s picky heart is through the mind. Like their Gemini counterparts, they are ruled by Mercury, so mental compatibility is a must. Intelligent conversation turns them on. This means you need to have something to talk about. If you know a topic in-depth, you win points with them. So, be an expert in something. Virgos are detail-oriented, which means the little things matter. A handmade card, simple floral arrangements, and well-plotted-out evenings will get their attention. Although they enjoy fixing things, don’t become their “project.” Have your shit together. Be an equal. This will earn their respect; when you’ve got that, you have their loyalty. Also: never, ever show up late. Tardiness is a huge no-no. Punctuality is their turn-on. Remember that long after you’ve sealed the deal. By the way, they are excellent bets for long-term partnerships – if you want that, there is no one better than a Virgo.

Virgo parents: Virgo parents will make sure their children have everything they need to succeed. They’ll also keep the child dressed well, even if their means are modest. Education is important, so they will invest in the best schooling. Of course, the environment will be orderly, and the child may be expected to participate in tasks. These parents aim to raise good, dutiful children, and they do for the most part. However, they can be temperamental, especially if the child doesn’t live up to their goals. When that happens, they harp on the kid until they become a rebel without a cause. Knowing when to ease up is vital if they don’t want to create estrangement.

Virgo children: Virgo kids are wise beyond their years. So much so that they are often treated like little adults, even when they are still wet behind the ears. Many of them are intelligent and should excel in academics. As a rule, they tend to be neat and routine-oriented. Therefore, it is wise to ensure they have a room for themselves if the siblings are messy. Some Virgo children are shy, and it may take a while before they warm up to strangers. Don’t try to push them to engage if they feel reticent. Respect their feelings. Virgo youngsters like to serve, which makes it tempting to ‘parentify’ them. Avoid that as much as possible. Let them be a kid. There’s plenty of time to get serious later.

Virgo bosses: If you work for a Virgo, you better be ready to work and do a good job. Half-assing won’t do. You must bring your A-game every day. They’ll treat you well if you can live up to their standards. But they have no trouble letting go if you fail to meet their expectations. This doesn’t mean they aren’t compassionate. They are. But work is serious business for them, so it’s wise to treat your job like it’s the most important thing in the world if you work for a Virgo.

Virgo employees: You will find no better employee than a Virgo. They love to work and take pride in their job. Because they love to serve, they’re more than happy to be in a position where they care for people. Administrative, health care, teaching, human resources, and customer service are natural roles for them. But they are mutable, so really, they can take on any position. Virgos hate to take sick days, so you may have to prod them to stay home when they are under the weather. Although they are not showy types, they do appreciate recognition. Because they’re the best at what they do, it’s hard to not make them employee of the month every month.

Virgo friends: Virgos are loyal pals. Most prefer long-term relationships, so they’ll choose to hang out with old friends rather than try to scout new ones. If you have a Virgo buddy, you can count on them to be there when the chips are down (provided they’re not too busy – they work a lot). They’re also handy to have around if you need something fixed. And if you’re sick? They are ready for Florence Nightingale mode with homemade chicken noodle soup and cold compresses. One thing to keep in mind: most of them prefer one-on-one. So, if you value them, make time for that. When Virgo’s friends go bad, they are the masters of the backhanded compliment. You know that friend who makes a remark that sounds positive but is actually a dig? Yep, that one. Ew.

I hope you enjoy this peek into the persnickety, ultra-smart Virgos. Next up: Libra Suns.



If you want to cover astrological basics, be sure to check out my book, Astrology For Real Life: A No B.S. Guide for the AstroCurious.

image from stock photography

@ Theresa Reed | The Tarot Lady 2023


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