The Hit List - Driver’s seat

My father was no feminist. But he did want my sister and me to be as independent as possible. (Note: he also didn’t like our independence when it backfired on him and we started doing whatever the hell we wanted to do!)

One thing he insisted on: we had to learn to drive.

My mother couldn’t drive. She said one time she tried but put the car in reverse and ended up in a ditch. That scared her off ever trying again. Perhaps Dad was worried we’d end up like her – forever reliant on some man to cart us around.

Because my mother liked to talk about her failed attempt, I was scared to get behind the wheel. But I didn’t have a choice – Dad pushed me into the driver’s seat of his old navy blue Ford Fairmont station wagon (dad loved that car) and off we’d go to practice on country roads and parking lots.

My terror of driving had one more factor: my father was a cocky speed demon. Like most country boys, he began early, driving the tractor as soon as he was tall enough to get on it. Naturally, he discovered he liked to go fast. He drove like a maniac, taking great delight in passing people and bragging about the “good old days” when he would take his dates on joy rides over the terrifying “Hogsback Road” at full throttle until they peed their pants and begged him to stop. This was the man who was going to teach me to drive. YIKES.

As you can imagine, his manner of teaching left something to be desired. If I was driving too slow, he’d poke me in the ribs. Blowing through a stop sign meant getting screamed at. My favorite though was the time he told me to hang a right and I whipped around the corner so fast he thought I was going to crash the station wagon. I got a good slap on the leg for that one. Most of the time though it was pretty boring, me timidly putzing along while we discussed politics (his favorite topic) or religion (his other pet subject).

After many months, finally, it was time to take the test. I failed. I got freaked out trying to parallel park and started to cry. Needless to say, the dude administering the exam had zero sympathies.

All those lessons went to waste. Secretly, I was relieved. It meant I didn’t have to do this any longer, right?

WRONG.

Back in the car I went with for more of Dad’s driving instruction. Over dirt roads, into the city, through rain and snow and sleet. He was determined I would pass this time if it killed him. Well, he survived my awful driving and I got my license the second try (barely).

Since that time, I’ve become a confident driver. While I don’t have a taste for speed like Dad, I’ve traveled all over the country, sometimes by myself. I’ve learned to enjoy driving and the independence it has given me. Oh, and I still love to talk politics when I’m in the driver’s seat – and I drive a cherry-red station wagon to this day (he loved my car too). I’d like to think he’s still with me in spirit whenever I’m on the road, enjoying the ride, even if it’s too slow for his tastes.

Ghostly stuff.

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