The Hit List - Helping the helpers

From early on, I was self-sufficient. If I needed something, I knew I’d have to rely on myself to get it, especially when it came to my emotional needs. My family of origin wasn’t great at that – plus, I got assigned the ‘caretaker’ role early on, so other people’s needs always came first.

Asking for help? Not easy for me. Partly because I am used to doing it myself – but also, there is a fear that if I request help, I won’t get it.

This is an old story – and one that I’m humbly learning to release.

A few months ago, I hired an assistant to take care of my inbox. It had become an overwhelming trap, filled to the brim with requests I couldn’t fulfill (or didn’t want to), followed by guilt trips when I said no. My assistant has taken control, handled every email like a kindly gatekeeper, and created space so I can do the work I need to do, which is writing.

The past few weeks, the snow has been brutal. Last year, I tried to manage the shoveling on my own, after my regular helpers vanished into thin air (probably off to college – or sick of shoveling!). My son sent his guy over – and told me I’m covered. You cannot imagine the relief this has given me (and my poor, tweaky back!).

And yesterday, I was at the pharmacy picking up medication when we encountered a tech snafu that raised the price up to a shocking level. I was gobsmacked (my insurance doesn’t offer much in the way of prescription coverage). In fact, I felt like crying. The kind pharmacist told me that she would look into it and get back to me – and my daughter asked if I needed help. (I don’t.) Part of me felt humiliated to quibble over this money in front of my kid like one of those ads on television.

But the other part: grateful. I’m filled with gratitude for the pharmacist and my daughter, for making me feel that they’ve got me.

The little girl inside who is so used to going it alone suddenly felt safe, protected, and like everything is going to be okay. This is much different than the panicky inside tough girl outside mask I’ve worn for so, so long.

It’s okay to need help. It’s also fine to ask for it and accept it. If you feel like you don’t deserve it, I’m here to tell you that you do. Your needs are important – and you should never feel ashamed to ask for what you want, crave, or lack. You might be surprised to discover there are many helping hands available.

I know it’s hard for the helpers to hear this or believe it. But from one stoic caregiver to another, help is there.

Happy Lunar New Year of the Ox!

Other stuff:

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This Non-Binary BIPOC Tarot Card YouTuber Has Become My Personal Guru: Watch Your Sign’s Video.

WOW. A Vast Web of Vengeance.

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I’ve been following this story loosely: Scammer & Accidental Style Icon Anna Delvey Has Been Released From Prison.

4 Ways To Support Asian-American Communities Right Now.

Give: Let’s help bring the Black Queer Tarot to life!

I love Sarah Potter! Check her out: What’s in Store for the Art World in 2021? We Asked a Prominent Tarot Card Reader—and She Has Some Surprisingly Detailed Predictions.

Of course, they do: Newly engaged Aaron Rodgers and Shailene Woodley share the same astrologer.

Power Shift 2021 Will Feature Angela Davis, Black Youth Organizers.

I agree with Liz Worth 100%: Why I Don’t Promote Twin Flame Theories.

COOL: Ahead of the pack: Leonora Carrington’s tarot card art – in pictures.

Looking for a daily horoscope? How about live tarot pulls for every sign of the zodiac? I do that every day over on Instagram Live with Tarot, Transits, and Tangents! Join me and learn how to CYA (Cover Your Asstrology)!

The latest Tarot Bytes focuses on how to read for someone who is panicked, frantic, or in a bad state of mind.

From Self: If Astrology Apps Are a Major Part of Your Day, Read This.

Leeza Robertson has a new book coming out this fall: The Divine Practice of Angel Numbers: Raise Your Vibration with the Archangels.

Looks interesting: How to Do the Work: Recognize Your Patterns, Heal from Your Past, and Create Your Self.

Might want to check this out: Green Witch Oracle Cards: Discover real secrets of natural Magick.

Sophie Saint Thomas has a new book out: Sex Witch: Magickal Spells for Love, Lust, and Self-Protection.

I cannot wait for Aliza Kelly’s upcoming book: This Is Your Destiny: Using Astrology To Manifest Your Best Life.

Tarot: No Questions Asked: Mastering the Art of Intuitive Reading is for every reader, every level. It’s packed to the brim with tarot card information and my favorite “tarotcises.”

The Uncommon Tarot: A Contemporary Reimagining of an Ancient Oracle is the gorgeous, inclusive tarot deck you never knew you needed. But you do.

We’ve got another wintry mix out there. But who cares when you’ve got The Tarot Coloring Book, colored pencils, and a mug of hot green tea?

Feeling scared? Dealing with too much stress? Tarot For Troubled Times is like balm for the soul – a tarot book focused on healing, empowerment, and self-care.

One of my favorite things to do is break down complex subjects like astrology for folks who think they “can’t get it.” I do that in  Astrology for Real Life: A Workbook for Beginners (A No B.S. Guide for the Astro-Curious), fun book that makes astrology totally accessible! Yay!



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What I’m Grateful For:


My children

Nice people

My community

Cat snuggles on cold days

Sushi delivery


Soundtrack for 2/13/21:

Violent by carolesdaughter


© Theresa Reed | The Tarot Lady 2021

images from stock photography and personal collection 


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