The Hit List - My 19th Nervous Breakdance

As I get older, I start to think more and more about….well, getting older. And that leads to all sorts o’ grim and stupid things for me to obsess over (don’t let the outer Zen fool you – I’m manic inside)!

My neurotic concerns aren’t about falling and being unable to get up. My main fears are about music.

And no, I don’t worry about what those young whippersnappers might be listening to in the future (I’m more up to date on musical trends than most people my age and I dig what the younger set is into).

It’s more about what kind of music might be played at my funeral. Or if, god forbid, I’m in a nursing home, what will be piping through the intercom during the day?

Let me illustrate where my special (and foolish) brand of musical neurosis stems from:

Years ago, I was working a (very) brief stint in a nursing home. They would bring in “entertainment” from time to time and it was always the same: ancient songs like “My Darling Clementine” wafting through the stale, antiseptic tinged air. Some of the residents did enjoy it but most seemed bored and depressed at these “old timey” tunes.

There was one lone hold out to this antiquated musical soiree: a sassy gal who refused to participate because she wanted to hear the Beatles.

Yes, The Beatles. Imagine that. She may have been elderly but she didn’t want to hear any of that “old stuff”. She wanted modern, current music (mind you, The Beatles were long passé in my opinion but compared to what they were playing in that rec room, this was downright rebellious!).

She would sit in her room and listen to her beloved Beatles and I would listen to the Sex Pistols on my walkman (hey, this was the 80’s) and wonder what kind of music I would be subjected to if I got stuck in a nursing home one day.

Would they play childhood favorites (of course, my childhood was old skool punk ala The Clash)? Would Buddy Holly or the Beatles be the best they could dig up? What if I wanted L’Il Wayne? Would that be too racy? Would I be too deaf to even notice?

One can only hope that I don’t end up in a nursing home but if I do, I hope I’ll have some hip grandkids who make sure my iPod (or whatever listening device of the future is popular) is loaded up with all kinds of ear nuggets, preferably the kind with lots of parental advisory stickers. Even better, I’d like a DJ to come once a week (turntables and all) with a breakdancing companion who’d be whirling around on those slick linoleum floors! Man…..that would be dope!

(Note to future self: the people who work or visit at that nursing home will probably think your music is quaint and old fashioned – and they may just think you are nuts.)

The same goes for my funeral: no bummer music. When I planned my parent’s funerals I wanted “uplifting melodies” but the choices were very limited, religious oriented and downright downer city. (To be fair, these were big Catholic affairs and I doubt the priest would go along with anything I’d dig.)

That’s not how I’m going out. Nope. I want fun music. I want a mix of my old punk stuff from back in the day, lots of gangsta rap and whatever is new and makes me tap my toes. I want silly ditties like “Cups” by Anna Kendrick (because yes, you will miss me) and classics like “Lust For Life” by Iggy Pop. I want music that makes people feel MY essence.

No doubt I will revise my list over the years (I’m anticipating being around for a long time ala my Dad) but one song has remained at the top of my list and will be the first thing people hear when they come into my memorial: “My Way” by Sid Vicious. I don’t mind a dry eye or two – but laughter is a must when I check out!

So tell me (morbid question alert): what are the songs you’d want played at your funeral?

That is my beautiful hipster daughter who will probably WANT retro 20’s music at her funeral. What’s old is new again!

Other stuff:

Memo to my children: if you are looking for suggestions for my nursing home playlist, check out the 32 Best Rap Albums of 2013. Putting in a request for Rich Homie Quan, Snow the Product and Earl Sweatshirt, please.

Speaking of rad music, Iron Maiden aren’t dummies. They found out where their music was being pirated the most – and played there.

Interesting post by Christy Stratton: How To Survive a Christmas Visit With Your Hoarding Mother. I am fascinated with hoarders and always convinced that we are hoarders over here. I have a “book problem”.

Apparently there was a real “welfare queen” and she was an ace criminal and possibly into trafficking children. Yikes!

The always brilliant Jen Louden just launched a killer new program: The Life Organizer Navigation Course. This is one to get in on!

My business retreat for mystics, healers and other soul based entrepreneurs, Soulful Proprietor is 60% sold out! Want in? Get your seat HERE before they are gone, daddy, gone.

Just polished off Damn Good Advice (For People with Talent!): How To Unleash Your Creative Potential by America’s Master Communicator, George Lois and WOW. Lots o’ wisdom and sass in that book. Plus, great graphics!

Also watched Diana Vreeland: The Eye Has to Travel over the holidays and I’m now a wee bit fixated on Ms. Vreeland!

The streets of Milwaukee are about to get a bit more delicious (and safe) this winter.

Wonder how your life might have looked 600,000 years ago? This new museum gives you the real picture.

This is just all sorts of gross.

Liberty Bottleworks deals very well with bullies. Take notes and remember this the next time someone tries to jerk your company around.

What I’m Grateful For:

iTunes

A peaceful holiday season

Brand new book swag (including a book on How to Rap!)

Good meals

Knowing that my troubled friend is in a safe place