The Hit List - Toe Jamming
I swore I was done writing about the hellacious Mercury retrograde that seemed to darken every corner of my life for the last few weeks. As I started to see the end in sight, I thought the worst was over…and I’d be coasting to a hard-won victory. 

Nope. The retrograde had other plans.

I was running errands with my husband last week when I noticed he was limping. “Goddamn arthritis…” he muttered. As a former landscaper, he had broken his toes many times – and now those old injuries reminded him of those hardscrabble days in the sweltering sun with massive stones that showed no mercy for even the sturdiest shoes. 

I’ve broken my own toes a few times too and fractured my foot when I dropped a full keg of beer during my short stint as a bartender so I knew all too well how to sing the “arthritis blues.” The weather had changed recently so I was feeling it too – but in my hands instead. “This getting old shit is for the birds,” I replied as we headed home.

The next morning, he was in full-blown agony. You see, those old landscaping injuries weren’t just about broken toes. Back in the day, his toenails also got damaged, which meant they grew in freakishly wrong, sideways and claw-like. Kinda like a zombie toenail! Anyhow, the toenail on his big one had become ingrown and infected – with the toe itself swollen to the size of a small potato. This was why he was walking so funny – and it was NOT good.

“You need to go to the doctor, pronto.” There were no two ways about it – that toenail had to go. A few phone calls later and we were scheduled for an early slot with a local podiatrist who specialized in “cowards.” (My husband isn’t a scaredy-cat for shit like this but I am squeamish just thinking about feet and toenail stuff.)

As we drove to the office, I found myself thinking about all those times I snickered at the “The Toe Bro” show as I scrolled past it on the television guide. Was this some sort of karma? Did the Toe Bro gods decide my husband’s foot fate? Or was this just due to the Mercury retrograde being in Pisces, which rules the feet? I was looking for a supernatural reason but common sense prevailed – the only “bad luck” we were dealing with was aging feet with old injuries.

Fifteen minutes later, the podiatrist had the nail removed and the toe padded with a bright blue bandage. Of course, I promptly drew a face on it and christened it “Toe-ny” because I’m immature like that – and didn’t want to think about how that mangled toe might look underneath that bandage (days later and my husband still hasn’t shown me the toe-tal truth). 

Mercury is direct now. His toe is healing. Bandages have been changed and life goes on. Because that’s the thing: the cosmos may have its way with us from time to time but we must trudge on, and trust that we’ll always land on our feet one way or another. 

Mercury retrograde Other Stuff:

If you have a business but you don’t have clients, that’s a real problem. Racheal Cook is opening the doors to Get More Clients, a program that will give you the info you need to begin attracting clients in a happy, stress-free way. I swear by Racheal’s teachings, which is why I’m a proud affiliate.

This looks uh-may-zing (and it’s currently on sale!): Lunar Journaling E-Course from Atlas Astrology. Deepen your connection to astrology by tracking the moon’s rhythms.

I love behind the scenes stories! Here’s the dirt on the bleacher scene in Ten Things I Hate About You.

Wow: A toddler’s dwindling voice was chalked up to acid reflux. Her problem was far more serious.

A thoughtful post from Cyndi Brannen: Dismantling The Widespread White Advantage in Witchcraft.

In Norway, you can get student loans for Astrology…maybe (not if scientists have their way).

I love these brave girls: Teen boys rated their female classmates based on looks. The girls fought back.

Three tips for a more sustainable home.

Jessica Dore is making some great stuff happen with Tarot: It’s All in the Cards: Why a Tarot Reading Might Improve Your Mental Health.

The stars have it: Jeanna Kadlec breaks down Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez’s birth chart.

Double your Jeanna pleasure: Jeanna also interviewed some astrologers on the 10 best astrology books (taking notes on which ones I need…).

I’d like to experience this: What It’s Like to Grow Up With More Money Than You’ll Ever Spend.

Mysterious “Goodbye Horses” Singer Q Lazzarus Breaks Her Silence 30 Years Later.

Check out this zine on money magic from Jessie Susannah Karnatzthe aka $Money Witch$.

The Best ASMR For Your Star Sign, Because It’s Time To Find The Sounds That Will Be Tailored To You.

Why your dating life sucks – even though you’re a wonderful person.

Awww: How Cory Booker and Rosario Dawson’s Relationship Has Evolved into True Love.

Witchcraft Business Booms due to Trump Administration, Evangelicals, and CBD.

Looks interesting: Decisive Intuition: Use Your Gut Instincts to Make Smart Business Decisions.

I need this: Lettering for Planners: A Step-By-Step Guide to Hand Lettering and Modern Calligraphy for Bullet Journals and Beyond.

This looks great: Wild Mercy: Living the Fierce and Tender Wisdom of the Women Mystics.

Coming soon: The Door to Witchcraft: A New Witch’s Guide to History, Traditions, and Modern-Day Spells.

I’m always looking for good breathing books: How to Breathe: 25 Simple Practices for Calm, Joy, and Resilience.

This deck looks intriguing: Neo Tarot: A Fresh Approach to Self-Care, Healing & Empowerment.

Might want to check this one out: Keeping Her Keys: An Introduction To Hekate’s Modern Witchcraft.

Lovely: The Seasonal Soul: A Mystic’s Guide to Inner Transformation.

The Tarot Coloring Book is the easiest way to start understanding the cards. Color your way through the deck – and watch the meanings unfold!

You can preorder Tarot For Troubled Times – a timely book on tarot, ritual, affirmations, social justice – and courage.

My third book is due to drop October 1st: Astrology for Real Life: A Workbook for Beginners (A No B.S. Guide for the Astro-Curious). You can pre-order it now!


I’m teaching at New Renaissance Books in Portland, Oregon on July 2nd at 6:30. Tarot Cards for Shadow Work – Together we’ll explore shadow work, Tarot archetypes, Birth Cards, finding the good in “bad” cards – and the dark side in the “good” ones. You’ll come away with knowledge about your Tarot Birth Card and some suggestions for making peace with your shadow.

If you’re in the Bay Area, join Chris Zydel and me on July 7th for Brushes + Cards + Shadows An Intuitive Painting and Tarot Workshop. It will be EPIC!

Join me and Shaheen on Friday, July 26th for a Tarot For Troubled Times event and book signing! Where: Free Spirit Crystals in Butler, Wisconsin. What time: 7 PM. Cost: Free!

Tarot for Troubled Times with Shaheen Miro and Theresa Reed. Learn about shadow work, archetypes, tarot birth cards, and remedies for tough times. Boston Tea Room in Ferndale, Michigan. Details coming soon!


What I’m Grateful For:

Good doctors

Cute dresses

Mercury is direct

Allergy meds

A day off tomorrow!

A stack of lovely books

Dinner with a friend tonight


Soundtrack for 3/30/19:

Born to Die by Lana Del Rey



© Theresa Reed | The Tarot Lady 2019

images from stock photography and personal collection


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