The Hit List - Unsolicited Advice

The other day I was minding my own business but someone decided they needed to mind it too. This person – who is a stranger – showed up in my world to give me unsolicited advice about something.

I didn’t ask for any advice and frankly, the issue they felt a need to address wasn’t an issue. Their unasked for help triggered some old crap and sent me into a shame spiral for a minute followed by a temper tantrum. Thankfully, my husband is the perfect sounding board and quick to say “eff that noise.”

But this got me thinking. Why do people sometimes feel the need to offer their opinion or guidance when there hasn’t been a request? What is their need to “fix” something when it’s not wanted or needed? I’m sure I do it too, especially with my children (parenting adult kids means to stop parenting). 

After all, it’s tempting to play expert of other people’s lives. Shoot, it sure beats taking care of our own crap, right?

Sometimes it makes sense to be a “buttinski.” For example, an ailing parent may hesitate to ask for assistance or a friend may assume they’re bothering you if they reach out for advice. In those situations, if you sense there is a problem it might be fine to say “hey…do you need something?”

In other cases, stepping back and waiting for the request is a wiser – and more polite option. The next time you feel compelled to propose your solutions, you might want to make sure there’s an actual problem. Otherwise, you might be creating a whole new issue.

Cozy kitty.

Other stuff:

Love this interview: On “Succession,” Jeremy Strong Doesn’t Get the Joke.

This is SO COOL: Millions of Americans can trace their ancestry back to tenements like this one.

Maisy Bristol is my guest this week on Tarot Bytes. Our topic: tarot and the hero’s journey.

8 DIY Gift Ideas To Unleash Your Inner Artist This Holiday Season.

Hell yeah: Mercury In Capricorn Means It’s Time To Get Shit Done.

Amen: Today, on Human Rights Day, the U.S. Must Abolish Child Marriage.

From Vanity Fair: The Second Coming of Guru Jagat.

How can schools detect potentially violent students? Researchers have an answer.

A must-read post from Mat Auryn: How to Spot a Spiritual Impersonator Scam on Instagram (And What To Do).

Yeah, they are: Tarot cards are having a moment with help from the pandemic.

Over at The Wild Hunt: The legacy of “witch-hunts” continue.

Good question: How Much Work Are You Really Supposed to Do at Work?

Teen Vogue gives the scoop on Lisa Stardust’s new deck: This Astrology Gift Is Perfect For Your Tarot-Obsessed Friend.

Speaking of Lisa Stardust, she’s talking about Venus Retrograde on this week’s Astrology Bytes.

Great advice from Cosmo: The Best (and Worst) Times to Get a Tarot Reading.

So important: Recovering Gut Health after Antibiotics.

Finding life after divorce where you’d least expect it — as a witcher in a fantasy role-playing video game.

Compelling: A Murder, Gold Bars, a Jailbreak and Questions About Justice.

I’m curious about this: Three Simple Lines: A Writer’s Pilgrimage into the Heart and Homeland of Haiku.

Also curious about this book: The Inner Work of Age: Shifting from Role to Soul.

Aidan Wachter has a new book out: Changeling: A Book Of Qualities.

NEED: Make Your Art No Matter What: Moving Beyond Creative Hurdles.

Glennon Doyle’s journal looks amazing: Get Untamed: The Journal.

Yes to this: The Set Boundaries Workbook: Practical Exercises for Understanding Your Needs and Setting Healthy Limits by Nedra Glover Tawaab.

Instead of a video game, get your kids Tarot For Kids – they’ll love it (psst..and they’ll be off the screen!)

What every tarot lover wants to see under the tree this year: Tarot: No Questions Asked: Mastering the Art of Intuitive Reading.

If you prefer to listen to your tarot lessons, check this out: Tarot: No Questions Asked: Mastering the Art of Intuitive Reading is available as an audiobook.

How to be the most popular person at every holiday gathering: bust out this book and start reading people’s charts – Astrology for Real Life: A Workbook for Beginners (A No B.S. Guide for the Astro-Curious). Way better than mistletoe!

Hosting a Secret Santa thing with your besties? Put this in their stocking: The Uncommon Tarot: A Contemporary Reimagining of an Ancient Oracle.

Every year, The Tarot Coloring Book delights folks. It’s a wonderful gift for tarot fans of all ages – or for people who like to color!

Tarot For Troubled Times is filled with rituals, magic, tarot, and advice for moving through the hard stuff.

Get your pre-orders ready: Create Your Own Tarot Cards: A step-by-step guide to designing a unique and personalized tarot deck and Twist Your Fate: Manifest Success with Astrology and Tarot. (I’ve been busy!)



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What I’m Grateful For:

Snowy days

New recipes

Time to rest and think

A glass of wine with my daughter

Support from my crew when I need it most


Soundtrack for 12/11/21:

SAD GIRLZ LUV MONEY by Amaarae ft. Moliy <-I am OBSESSED with this song!


© Theresa Reed | The Tarot Lady 2021

images from stock photography


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