the-saturn-returncastThe Saturn Returncast

Got a Saturn Return coming up? Its a big deal. Find out the scooprisks, tests, challenges, opportunitiesso that you can passthis cosmic exam with flying colors!

It happens three times in your lifetime.

First, around age 27 – 29.

Next, around age 56 – 58.

Then finally (if you’re fortunate enough to enjoy such a long life!) one last time around age 86 – 90.

It’s big. It can be challenging. It lasts a couple of years, each time, and it can set you up for decades of ease and happiness—or decades of frustration and fumbling—depending on the choices you make during this highly-charged, important time.

What is it?

It’s… dun dun dun…

Your Saturn Return.

Psst. If you already know all about what Saturn Returnmeans and why it shows up in your life, CLICK HERE to hop down to the juicy details about how to book a reading. If you are new to astrology and want some background info, first, then just keep reading

Saturn Return: Whats going down?

Saturn is one of the most important planets on your astrological chart. A few times in your life, it crosses your chart in a very particular way, moving forward, passing through every house. Astrologers refer to this as your “Saturn Return.”

What does it feel like?

Imagine a fierce, loving parent storming into a teenager’s messy bedroom. Mom takes one look around and says, “Yeah. This isn’t going to fly. Clean that up. Organize your desk. Finish your homework. You’ve got a math test tomorrow. Are you ready?”

Whats going to happen?

For many people, Saturn Return feels like a big “wake up call” or “clean up session” from the universe—an opportunity to get your shit together on every level (emotional, spiritual, professional, financial, health wise) and step into a higher level of success.

You might feel like you’re being “tested,” with similar themes showing up over and over (“This again?? Jeez. I get it, universe!”) until you’ve thoroughly learned your lesson.

You may also be faced with huge “do I stay or go?” decisions—leave the guy, shift to a new job, close the business, move to a new city? Lots of biggies tend to pop up during this time and you don’t want to take these choices lightly. Your decisions will be super-charged and can shape the next couple decades of your life!

Pass or Fail: its up to you.

If you “pass” your Saturn Return—if you pay attention to the signals that the universe is sending over and get your house in order—you’ll be squared away for decades of awesomeness. Success, healthy relationships, minimal drama. Smooth sailing ahead.

If you “fail” your Saturn Return—if you ignore the signals or bury your head in the sand—you can still enjoy a great life, but certain things will feel like an “uphill battle” rather than smooth downhill cruising. If you really, really flunk your Return, you might wind up still living with your parents at age 50, drinking cheap beer on the futon and mourning your nonexistent music career. Just kidding. Not really.

Get prepared.

If your first—or next—Saturn Return is coming up, I’d love to help you get prepared!

If your Saturn Return is already happening, I’d love to help you make the best possible use of the remaining time. It’s never too late to steer things back on track so that you can “pass” your Return with flying colors!

Book your Saturn Returncast.

Your Saturn Returncast is $150. You email me a few basic details about yourself, plus one big question that’s burning on your mind, and 7 days later you get a forecast delivered to your inbox.

Your forecast includes an overview of your entire Saturn Return—risks, tests, challenges, and opportunities—to help you navigate this exciting, important time.

I will explain what kinds of lessons are likely to pop up during this time… what kinds of red flags to watch out for… what needs to be cleaned up in your world, asap… different ways that you might be tested… and the best ways to pass each test along the way.

Let’s do this!

How to get your Saturn Returncast:

– Reach out to me to check in on my availability. If I have a spot open, I’ll send over an invoice in a jiffy. A few clicks, we’re ready to roll!

– Then, send an email to

– Include your full name, birthdate, time and place of birth in your email. If you’re comfortable including a photo of yourself, too, that’s very helpful.

– Also, include your biggest question of the moment. Are you considering a career change? Wondering if you should stay with your current spouse or part ways? Considering a big hair chop (hello, pixie cut!) or a real estate sale, business partnership, international trip, grad school course, or investment? Send over your “burning question” and I’ll see what the cards ‘n stars have to say.

– You’ll receive your Saturn Returncast within 7 days. Rest assured: I’m freakishly punctual.

– If you don’t receive a reply within 7 days, please check the Spam / Trash / Promotions folders in your inbox, just in case my email got filtered there by mistake.

– Still don’t see anything? Please email me and I’ll get you sorted out. Thank you!

How to pay:

Due to my crazy-busy schedule, the Saturn Returncasts are by special request only – and only available if my schedule permits.  If you’re interested, reach out to me at and I’ll let you know if I have the time to knock this out for you!

Here’s to rocking out your Saturn Return.

I can’t wait to share what the cards have to say!



PS. Not heading into a Saturn Return right now? But want to book a Tarot-inspired forecast anyway? Check out The Tarotcast (or for business owners, The Entrepreneurcast)—two awesome readings that you can do any time in your life. Thanks for your interest!


tarotlady_soulfulproprietor_alexandrafranzen“Theresa gave me a few pointers back when I was 27 years old, heading into my first Saturn Return. Her reading was super encouraging with just the right amount of “watch out for this…” guidance to keep me out of trouble. Theresa mentioned one big “life lesson” that would be likely to pop up continually through my SR — and oh, it sure did! Now, at age 30, I feel like I “passed” my Saturn Return and I’m so grateful that I had some mystical guidance at the starting gate. Whether it’s your Saturn Return, or any phase of your life, you can’t go wrong with a loving, empowering reading from Theresa. I’m a fangirl for life!”-Alexandra Franzen,

grace quantock“Managing Saturn Return can be a big challenge. When you’ve got big dreams and plans, the challenge is heightened further. ​Having Theresa’s reading has made a huge difference and deeply supported and guided my life through my Saturn Return.

What can I say about Theresa’s work? I’m grateful she’s on the planet, I’m grateful to know and have access to her skills and talent. If you have an option to work with her, do. If you are considering getting a Saturn Return reading I strongly urge you to do it, and do it today.

When you are going through these transits and transformations struggling blindly just spends your energy needlessly – you need that energy for your powerfully transitioning self and life. Get the support you need to shine, Theresa has it, so enjoy!”

– Grace Quantock, wellness provocateur, writer, social entrepreneur, healing trailblazer. |

“Admittedly I’m not someone who’s had a lot of readings in the past, so I wasn’t too sure what to expect, but the Saturn Return reading I received from The Tarot Lady really hit home.

I’d been going through a lot of changes, some expected, some not, and my life was far from simple, but my Saturn Return reading really helped to make sense of what I’d been going through and allow me to see it in a clearer light. It also gave me something to move forward with, a more robust idea of what to expect and, very importantly, some guidance on how to handle new changes as they arrived.

Several months on from first receiving my reading and I’m still going back to it, seeing the cards manifest in my life and using the advice I have to bring all the threads together.” ~ Linus Harrison,

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