The Hit List - Ditching Scarlett O’ Drama

Drama is addictive.

Some people secretly thrive on high-volume fights, righteous victimhood, and random exchanges of hostile barbs.

It makes them feel alive. It’s a brutal, throbbing, pulsing, version of alive.

That’s the addictive part. It hurts but at least you’re feeling something.

Being able to feel anything, even histrionics, may seem more tantalizing than going through life on slo-mo.

TURMOIL turns people on. It’s emotional crack.

But eventually that roller coaster ride is gonna make you motion sick and begging to get off.

Ditching that drama is not easy. It requires the willpower of seven saints and ten strong men.

I was once with a man who was so moody and jealous, that living with him felt like walking on beetle bugs. Ever step on one? The feeling is a cross between an eggshell crunch and slime. Yep, that’s the vibe I’m talking about. You never knew when one wrong move would have you gritting your teeth and clamoring for a rag to wipe off that ick as fast as you could.

That drama-o-rama followed me even after I left him (because it wasn’t just him – I can point a finger at myself for my role in that ratched soap opera). From disastrous romances with ne’er do wells to friendships gone horribly bust, there was always something blowing up in the background. I was especially adept at getting wrapped up in other people’s dramas. Rescue mode: I’ve got a black belt in that.

If all that wasn’t enough, I was sure to mainline as many crap reality shows as I could so that I could relive their pain and feed on that as well. (Stranger drama danger!)

I called this side of myself Scarlett O’Drama: always involved in some crisis, even if it was not my own.

Until one day, I stopped. I began to part ways with the people and situations that brought my energy down. I turned off my phone. I was no longer a dumping ground or available for rescue missions. Bitter, cruel, argumentative, and dishonest no longer had a space in my life or my home.

I even started to let go of the “Real Housewives” and my beloved “Maury” (I still watch those shows from time to time and unapologetically enjoy wallowing in the guilty pleasure of Bad Girl’s Club.)

I drama detoxed.

I felt better. Calmer.

I also got way more done.

Drama still comes up here and there but I have the ability to know when I am getting sucked in and as soon as that happens, I just say no.

And that’s the key: I am acutely aware when I’m getting pulled in by a hot-mess-in-the-making and I choose to back the eff away.

Instead, I put my energy into:

Meditation

Yoga

Writing

Family (the non-crazy ones)

Reading

Cooking

Working

Breathing

Art

Cats

Laughing

Tarot

Hugging it out

Love love love

PEACE

I make conscious decisions on how I want to spend my energy and time. I fight that need for bugging out. My template for peace is all about walking away from the train wrecks and embracing healthy, happy, holy, and sane energy.

I have become a killjoy for drama.

And the more I practice peaceful living, the less it comes around here.

So what’s it going to be for you?

Will you choose war or peace?

You do have a choice in the matter.

TaoZen always chooses the path of least resistance!

Other stuff:

I was honored to speak with Andrew McGregor of The Hermit’s Lamp about kindness, tarot, and compassion. Check it out!

Fascinating photos of heiress Huguette Clark and her empty mansions.

Ever get suspicious looking ping backs or trackbacks to your blog posts? Yep, that’s link spam. Here’s what to do about it.

Did you see the “Fat Girl” rant on “Louie”? The gal, played by actress Sarah Baker, goes on a tirade about what it’s like to be fat and dating. Raw and honest. Must see!

In Wisconsin, we get Paul Ryan. And this is his view on poverty. UGH.

There’s a reason I’m not a doctor: I flunked this quiz “Name! That! Horrifying! Disease!” Gross illustrations from old medical manuals.

LOVE this: Game of Thrones theme song on wine glasses, pans and water jugs!

Speaking of Game of Thrones, Rolling Stone did a nice recap of last week’s episode. (I was bent out of shape after that one, by the way.)

Twitter has now unrolled a “mute function”, which allows you to mute people but still follow them. Which means you don’t have to hear a thing they say but still give them the illusion that you are listening. WTF kind of nonsense is that? Why not just unfollow someone if you don’t want to hear them? I think this is rude.

New discoveries about good ole Stonehenge.

OMG there are PANDA DOGS in China!!!! This is beyond cute!

Do you struggle to learn the Tarot Court Cards? You MUST check out this great site by Alison Cross: This Game of Thrones, which is focused solely on Courts. Her post on The 8 Marriages and 7 Husbands of Elizabeth Taylor is absolutely brilliant!

What I’m Grateful For:

A good book at the end of the day

Handwritten notes

The ability to breathe freely

Open windows on a gorgeous day

Health

Well planned time off

Passports

Soundtrack for 5/17/14: “Ready” by B.o.B. (feat. Future): I’m ready for cool stuff!