the hit list justified

“Because I said so.”

Every child has heard those words and every mother has probably uttered them at one time or another.  It’s a snappy “none yo bizzness” answer to a sometimes pushy request against the word no.

It’s also valid.

In fact, I want to start saying that more.  Or using this other line that seems to fit on many occasions when I don’t feel like justifying what I’m doing:

“Because I felt like it.”

It feels liberating to not explain yourself.  The older I get, the less I feel like doing it.

Yet, from time to time, I find myself doing that justification dance when someone demands to know my agenda or motivation for a not-so-mysterious thing I’m doing.

Stuff like:

“Why do I need a referral to get an in-person reading?”

Me: “Because it’s safety issue.”  (Truth: it’s because I have had some really scary people here and I don’t want to risk my life with a stranger ever again.  I have this policy in place to protect me in case you decide to become a crazed axe-wielding maniac in my office.  A paper trail with referrals gives the police something to work with.  Evidence, duh.)

“Why did you raise your rates?  Now I can’t afford you.”

Me: “Because I needed to. Cost of living, yo.”  (Truth: I’ve been told that I should double my rates, friend.  Yes, there are people who value my work that much. But I don’t double them. I raise my prices very slowly and will sometimes go years without a raise.  My question to you: do you work without ever getting a raise?  Would you be okay working for the same hourly wage you got four years ago?  I didn’t think so.  Drops mic.)

“Why don’t you ever go out to the clubs anymore?”

Me: “I’m too busy.”  (Truth: I’m frigging getting old and the last thing I feel like doing these days is shimmying into a leather skirt and hanging with the band.  I’m done with all that.  It bores me to tears.  Psstt….it often bored me to tears back in the day too.)

“Why don’t you dye your hair?”

Me: “I’m all about my gray pride.”  (Truth: I’m too lazy.  Plus I hate chemicals and secretly think that putting all that shit on my head is going to disrupt my health.  Oh and although getting old is a bitch I’m too busy to worry about all that trying-to-stay-as-young-as-my-kid crap.)

Why do I even feel a need to explain a thing?  And why do people persist when a simple no should be enough?

We explain ourselves because we don’t want anyone to feel bad. We are lead to believe that our needs are not valid so we try our best to validate them when people refuse to honor our boundaries.

As I said to my daughter recently when she faced a landlord who wanted to cross-examine her motives when she said was moving back to the States: you don’t need to justify every single thing you do, no matter how much resistance you meet from other people.

You do not need to explain, come up with excuses, apologize, or try to appease anyone.

You are not Lucy to anyone’s Ricky.

You are entitled to your opinion, goals, and policies.  You are also able to change your mind when it’s right for you.

Live your life the way you want.

Because you feel like it and you said so.

hit list justified mind your own beeswax

This bee is doing his own thing and minding his own beeswax.

 

Other stuff:

I am obsessed with the Chris, the overgrown sheep from Canberra.

A cat’s eye view of Hiroshima.  Too cute for words!

Listen up: I’m so excited to be joining Diana Dorell on The Dancing Goddess show on BlogTalk – 9/10 @ 5pm Pacific!

Early robots were pretty adorable. And they smoked!  (Why does a robot need to smoke?)

Danielle LaPorte’s Desire Map planner are on sale now.  Get yours before they are gone.

I loved talking about cleaning up your “money is dirty” mind over at Little Red Tarot.

I am PUMPED about my latest e-course: GET IN CHARGE. It’s all about money, money, money… and mo’ money. Check out the deetz: Get In Charge.

A glimpse inside America’s brutal prison complex.

Ever wonder what classes you should take?  Here’s a practical list.  Study up!

Loving this smart stuff from Dr. Suzanne Gelb: Feeling Phone-Verwhelmed? 5 Tips to Create a Healthier, Happier Relationship With Your Smartphone

I might have to buy this retro toy and get all Tim Gunn ‘n stuff.

A one-pan nine-minute pasta dinner sounds pretty good right about now.

What if the entire Game of Thrones cast were cats?  

Rolling maki at Japan’s first all-female restaurant.  ‘Bout time.

New at Gala Darling: how to live your life on your terms.  Dreams and punk rock included.

How does tarot work?  Hilary Parry explains it all.

Wondering how to sell your art without feeling icky?  Leonie Dawson nails it.

If you think you can’t be creative when you sit and type all day, read this from Alexandra Franzen.

The doors for the Soulful Proprietor Retreat are closing soon.  Want in? Grab it now before the 16th.

It’s that time of year – time to plan for next year and this is my main tool: Llewellyn’s 2016 Astrological Calendar: 83rd Edition of the World’s Best Known, Most Trusted Astrology Calendar

I love potions and lotions. This new Daily Reviving Concentrate from Kiehl’s is to-do for.

If you missed the television series, Justified, you’re in luck – you can watch this brilliant show online!  This was a seriously good show.

As soon as winter starts coming in, my hands get super dry. Aveda works great and smells like heaven: Aveda Hand Relief Moisturizing Creme 4.2 oz 125ml

On my cooking wish list: The Food of Singapore: Simple Street Food Recipes from the Lion City [Singapore Cookbook, 64 Recipes] <-I’ve never experimented with Singapore cooking. Should I?

Waiting for Heidi Swanson’s latest book to come out: Near & Far: Recipes Inspired by Home and Travel

Also counting down the days until the new Lana Del Rey album: Honeymoon

Until that day, this is on constant rotation around here: Ultraviolence [Explicit]

 

What I’m Grateful For:

The freedom to live the way I want

Saying no

Corn nuts

A three day weekend

Books

My helpful crew

 

Soundtrack for 9/5/15: “Ghost” by Halsey <-so digging her vibe!

Blessings!
Theresa

© Theresa Reed | The Tarot Lady 2015

pictures from stock photography and private collection

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