The Hit List - The Other C Word

Many years ago, I was standing in a metaphysical store when I ran into some woman that I vaguely knew from the music scene. She was shuffling along with a cane, picking through crystals and pendulums when she spied me and hobbled over.

“I’m a crone now!” she louldy proclaimed with a look of wild glee on her face.

My confusion must have been obvious because she quickly added: “I just went through menopause!” Um okay…I thought and then went about my own witchy business wondering why she needed to announce this to me in the first place.

Over the years, I’ve heard that c-word again and again from fellow mature females of a certain age. It was always said with a tone of pride but something about it rubbed me the wrong way. Yeah, I know: they want to destigmatize the whole getting old schtick and put a positive spin on crone. Crone was being reclaimed and tamed.

They can reclaim it all they want but frankly, I hate the word.

To me, crone conjures up images of frailty or bent-over wicked witches with poison apples. That’s not the vision I have in mind for my golden years. (Especially the poor posture thing.)

Nope, instead, I want to be a badass old broad. I want to stand tall and sturdy, be steely-eyed and fierce, ready to command the room. My word? Matriarch. This is female BO$$ energy. A matriarch takes charge. She rules the family and her world with a manicured fist.

Matriarch says: “I’m in charge. I’m gangsta AF. Don’t even think of messing with my mojo because I might kick your damn ass.”

Kinda like Calamity Jane. Or Ma Barker, the fifty-something woman who rode with her hellion sons on a cross-country crime spree and got herself properly killed in a shootout.

While I have no interest in robbing banks (plus my son is not the criminal type – we’re more like Agnes and Seymour Skinner than the Barker gang) or dying in a hail of gunfire, I plan on plenty of rebellion in my future. I am not going down quietly nor will I become decrepit, bent up, invisible, blah blah blah. I’ve got shit to do and no time for bad posture or being jelly of the younger set.

Other women can crow about croning all they want. If that word works for ‘em, have at it. Own that c word, ladies. It’s all yours. In the meantime, I’ve got some rabble to rouse and bossing up to do. I’m bringing matriarch back, yo.

Other stuff:

I am devastated about the passing of Anthony Bourdain.

9 of Anthony Bourdain’s best quotes.

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Wanna know which tarot blogs and websites are worth reading? Check out my list of 78 Tarot Blogs and Web sites.

Stay Woke Tarot writes on why you shouldn’t let anyone buy you your first tarot deck.

Hell yeah: Chani Nicholas is in Rolling Stone.

Could your blood type determine how well your skin ages?

I can get behind this: “Pantsdrunk,” Or “Kalsarikänni,” Is The Finnish Form Of Hygge That Is Literally Just Drinking In Your Underwear.

Kim Kardashian did something good.

Sure is: Tarot Cards Might Be the Coolest New Way to Meditate.

10 essentials of a busy home cook.

Here’s a cool pyramid reading from Tarot Notes – using the Spirit Within Tarot.

They scrapped the swimsuit portion of the Miss America contest. This former contestant thinks that was a bad move.

Yay! It’s in the Cards: J.Ryan and the Queer Street Tarot.

12 steps to getting a better wardrobe without breaking the bank.

I might have to try this: This Allergy-Relieving, Inflammation-Fighting Apple Cider Vinegar Spring Tonic Will Make You Feel Better, Stat.

Hilary Parry answers this question: I don’t like my final outcome card! What do I do?

From Shivaya Wellness: Life doesn’t have to be confusing.

I love this post from Incandescent Tarot: When Daily Draws Just Don’t Feel Right.

How cute is this little cat tea mug?

Cannot wait for October: Milk Street: Tuesday Nights: More than 200 Simple Weeknight Suppers that Deliver Bold Flavor, Fast.

Barbara Moore just released this: Modern Guide to Energy Clearing.

Just got this deck: The Divine Feminine Oracle: A 53-Card Deck & Guidebook for Embodying Love.

And this gorgeous deck too: Work Your Light Oracle Cards.

You don’t have to struggle to understand the tarot. Get The Tarot Coloring Book and get some good hands-on practice.

Here are my upcoming live classes:

Intuitive Tarot Reading at New Renaissance Books. Date: Tuesday, July 3rd from 6:30 PM – 8:30 PM. Location: Portland, Oregon.

Brushes and Cards: a fun day-long event with painting + tarot. You’ll be in good hands with me and intuitive painter, Chris Zydel. Date: Sunday, July 8th. Location: Oakland, California. SOUL-D out!

*NEW* Astrology for Total Beginners: learn the basics of natal chart interpretation. This two-hour workshop will get you up to speed on what all that astrology stuff is about! Join me at Boston Tea Room. Date: Wednesday, October 10th. Location: Ferndale, Michigan.

Pens and Cards: a day full of tarot exploration and writing with author Sarah Selecky and moi. Date: October 13th. Location: Skybarn, Prince Edward County, Ontario. Only TWO seats left!

Intuitive Tarot Reading at Boston Tea Room. Date: Sunday, October 14th. Location: Ferndale, Michigan.