So you got dumped…how to recover from heartbreak

by Theresa Reed on October 30, 2014

you got dumped how to recover from heartbreak

Splitsville.  It happens to the best of us. And it’s never easy, especially when you are on the receiving end of the dumping.

You’re hurt and your ego is bruised. After all, why wouldn’t someone want to be with a person as fabulous as you?

Sometimes, it’s not that there is anything wrong with you – it may just be the lack of chemistry.  In other cases, it may be that you did something egregious and truly deserved getting the boot.  And then there are the other situations where a third party interfered or your partner was just a douchelord.

Whatever the case, holding on is not an option. You need to move forward.  

 

But how can you do that when the love of your life just dropped you like a moldy burrito?

Here’s a plan of action to get you centered and back on track as quickly as possible:

  1. Go ahead and cry.  No need to be a brave little soldier.  If you are hurt, sit with it.  Acknowledging your pain is often the quickest way to move through it.
  2. Don’t suffer in silence. Reach out to your friends.  A circle of support will help ease the pain.  (Plus, girlfriends are great for a little ex-bashing because chances are, they have been in your shoes before.)
  3. Disconnect on social media immediately.  Unfriend and unfollow. That way, you won’t be tempted to Facebook stalk him.  Out of sight, out of mind.
  4. Get rid of any reminders. Take down photos, throw out mementos that make you sad (feel free to keep the ones that bring you joy though), give away anything that keeps him or her on your mind.
  5. Stay busy. Idle hands lead to drunk texting. Don’t sit around moping. Get on with things.  Work out.  Take that cooking class you never had time for.  Hit the dance floor with  your buddies.  Write a novel.
  6. Remove their contact info from your cell phone.  This will also limit your ability to “accidentally” dial them up.
  7. If you cannot seem to shake the blues or start to feel obsessive, get therapy.  While that may sound extreme, this is a better route than constantly fixating on whether or not they’ll come back.
  8. And, above all, give yourself time to heal before jumping into a new relationship.  Recover from heartbreak before you bring someone new into your life.  Rebounds are rarely a wise idea.

 

Want a tarot spin on your situation?  Refrain from asking “will he return” questions.  That will only keep you stuck in heartbreak limbo.

Instead ask empowering questions such as:

What can I do to move forward?

What was my lesson in this relationship?

What do I need to know about finding a healthy and lasting relationship?

How can I move towards forgiving my ex?

 

Getting dumped may feel like it’s the end of the world, but it’s not.  You will go on and love again.  Start by loving yourself first.  

“When one door closes, another opens; but we often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door that we do not see the one which has opened for us” -Alexander Graham Bell

Blessings,

Theresa

© Theresa Reed | The Tarot Lady 2014

image from stock photography

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Reading tarot for people you already know

by Theresa Reed on October 29, 2014

reading tarot for people you already know

On occasion, I get this question: “Is reading tarot for people you already know hard to do?”

In most cases, having a strong, deep relationship with someone can lead to greater tarot clarity.  Because each card has many different meanings, knowing the sitter well may help you determine exactly how that card applies to their situation or question. You don’t have to play guessing games with a loved one or long term client. Also, when you work with someone for an extended period of time, you can get some profound healing happening.  Lastly, a long relationship builds trust.  This is essential for a good tarot reading.

BUT, in some cases, if you are unable to detach from your emotions, the reading can become biased – or you may have a harder time being honest should you see something “bad.”  (This is called being “emotionally invested in the outcome.”)

Another possible problem: the querent may feel as if you didn’t really read for them because you “already know” what’s going on.  These types may play games or sit there mute, waiting for you to tell them “something they didn’t know.” They also may downplay the reading and pooh-pooh any true insights you are sharing (“oh she just told me that because she knows me blah blah blah”).  I never read for someone once they come with that mindset.  It’s disrespectful and no matter how spectacular and accurate the reading may be, they will continue to dismiss it.

It all comes down to this question: can you be objective?

If you cannot, then it is better to refrain reading for that person.

The next question: will they treat the reading with respect or are they coming with a skeptical attitude?

If it’s the latter, you may want to say no.  It’s not worth your time or energy.

On reading:

Always have a grounding practice before reading for ANYONE.  Meditation or energy work before a reading gets you in the perfect tarot headspace.

Establish the energy immediately once they sit at your table.  For example, I like to have people pull a card from The Power Deck and take a moment to read the back.  This little ritual stets the tone that it’s tarot time.

Next, simply focus on the cards. Concentrate.  Tune out distractions – including looking at the querent for confirmation.  Do not seek validation or contradiction.  Just read.  This is NOT easy, especially if you’ve been trained to ask for confirmation.  But sometimes “just reading the cards” is the best path to keeping your emotions out of the way.

If you find yourself beginning to read in a slanted direction, pause.  Take a moment. Breathe deeply. Look at the cards as if you reading for a stranger.  What would you say to someone you didn’t know?  How would you interpret those cards?  Go from there.  See if that puts you back on track.

If you cannot get out of your own way, it may be wiser to refer them to another reader.

But if you can detach from your own inner emotional chatter and move forward, you may just find that these readings are the most meaningful of all.

Blessings,

Theresa

© Theresa Reed | The Tarot Lady 2014

What about you?  How do you read for someone that you know well?  Or do you take a pass? Share your thoughts with me on Twitter @thetarotlady

image from stock photography

Wanna learn to read tarot cards? Enter your email below and get your free 200+ page Tarot Card by Card manual plus the Rookie To Reader e-course: easy to understand digital lessons designed to get you reading tarot even if you have never picked up a deck before.

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Tarot Tip 10/28/14

October 28, 2014

Tweet Weekly tarot tips, thoughts and tidbits for tarot enthusiasts and wannabe readers. Blessings! Theresa © Theresa Reed | The Tarot Lady 2014

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Soul Proprietor – Sales don’t require a push

October 27, 2014

Tweet Perhaps you’ve been in this position: You see some guru offering a free “strategy session” to look over your business and give you some tips. So you sign up because your biz isn’t doing much business and perhaps you need fresh eyes on your thing.  (Plus this person claims to be making six figures […]

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The Hit List – Blessing bags and dreams

October 25, 2014

Tweet   I wrote about my friend passing from an overdose a few months ago.  Truth be told, I was having a pretty hard time coping with it. When someone goes in such a tragic manner, it leaves a massive hole that cannot be filled.  I found myself losing a lot of sleep over this. […]

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Yo Mantra – Vow

October 24, 2014

Tweet Yo Mantra: hip, playful (and sometimes profound) statements, mantras, and mojo-vation for modern mystics, seekers, and anyone who needs a little boost (or boom). Today’s Yo Mantra:  I’ve taken a vow of prosperity. I’ve taken a vow of prosperity. ~ @thetarotlady #yomantraClick To TweetPowered By CoSchedule   Great resources when you are ready to […]

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The Soulful Proprietor Retreat Recap

October 23, 2014

Tweet Last weekend, I hosted my first ever retreat: The Soulful Proprietor Retreat.  The mission was simple – gather together twenty women who were working in heart-centered businesses for an in-person mastermind with some fabulous teachers. I can happily announced that I successfully accomplished my goal.  The retreat was hella successful and a whole lotta […]

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Why your tarot business isn’t making a profit

October 22, 2014

Tweet Does this sound like you? You’re a talented tarot reader and people love your readings – but,  year after year, you barely break even. And every year, you wonder – why am I doing this when I can’t even make a sustainable living? Or maybe you host classes and workshops – they sell well […]

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Tarot Tip 10/21/14

October 21, 2014

Tweet Weekly tarot tips, thoughts and tidbits for tarot enthusiasts and wannabe readers. Blessings! Theresa © Theresa Reed | The Tarot Lady 2014

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The Hit List – My favorite things

October 18, 2014

Tweet What are the tools and favorite things that I rely on every single day?  Let me get all Oprah and tell you: My iPhone (I currently have the iPhone 5 but will be upgrading to the iPhone 6 as soon as this contract is up in May). My Hugger Mugger Tapas Ultra Yoga Mat […]

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