The Hit List – Genderfication

by Theresa Reed on January 31, 2015


boysCan you find me in the picture above?

You might think that I’m the sweet little baby with a naughty group of boys.  Nope.  I’m the little sprite all the way to the right in the baseball jacket, digging my hands in my brother’s birthday cake.

I was fresh off a short, choppy haircut that my older brother gave me. Mom caught us mid-haircut and was furious.  (She also remarked that this was the only time she ever saw me sit perfectly still.)

I was happy as a littleneck clam with my new look because it fit the way I felt on the inside: I secretly believed I was a boy.

I never shared that with anyone because I knew that I’d get in trouble. In our house, that would have been unacceptable and “weird”.

Outwardly, I would play the girl act when called for: putting on one of those dreaded frilly dresses that Mom favored or at times pretending to enjoy the “baby” doll that I received as a gift.

Inwardly, I wished my name was John.  I spent a lot of time thinking about how I’d like to be called that but I was wise enough to know that would not wash in our house. I remember thinking maybe Joan might be a compromise.  But I never said that to anyone.  Just thought it.

The whole feminization thing just didn’t fit me back then.  I was not comfortable in my “female suit” and wanted to take it off or cover it up.

But at some point, I did change.  Although never really “girly” in the pink-wearing stereotype sense, I noticed a shift around puberty.

My sexuality burst through in full force around thirteen and suddenly my brain was hot-wired for lanky, drug addled musicians (thank you, Sid Vicious).  Mom got her “girl” at last but it was a scary girl with bad ideas. (My poor mother.)

I no longer have those “bad ideas” but I am a female with a very masculine approach to many things in life.  Like a typical Gemini, I swing freely between being Hello Kitty girlish and one of the guys.  I am equally comfortable at girl’s night out or at a strip club with the dudes. I like to bend my gender and defy stereotypes whenever possible.

So why am I writing this?

I wrote this after reading that people are slamming Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt for allowing their daughter to live like a boy and calling her John (note: Shiloh Jolie-Pitt is a fellow Gemini).

I remember being that little girl who wanted to be called John too.  And I didn’t have supportive parents nor did I live in a time or place where that would have been acceptable (60’s rural was not very free-thinking).  Needless to say, that left me with a lot of confusion and feelings of shame.  No child should ever have to go through that.

Gender and sexuality are tricky.  At a very young age, we get assigned genders and told what that means to be a male or female.  If you do not fit the role you’ve been assigned, you are subject to ridicule and judgement. We need all the education and support we can get so that people can live without fear and so that children can express themselves and discover who they are freely.

Exploring choices is an important part of a child’s development.  So why force something on them because society deems it “right”?  Let them figure it out and guide with love, love, love.

My path turned one way and only time will tell what direction Shiloh’s path will wind. But with loving parents like the ones she has, I have a feeling Shiloh will be just fine.

Monkey ponders the state of the world

Monkey ponders the state of the world.  Or his treat dish.


Other stuff:

I love this post from my friend Pace Smith: A transgender perspective on gender…and pants.

Shelley Andres of Mystic Mentor started this cool new tarot practice over on Google Plus: Quid Pro Quid Tarot.  You give a reading and get a reading.  Win win for all parties!  And yes – it’s FREE.

What a “perfect” woman’s body was supposed to look like over the years.  So glad I didn’t live in those corset wearing times!

The irony is not lost on me: billionaire with five mansions says people should live with less.

In other ironic news: woman vandalizes Satanic display and now says that she shouldn’t be punished because this would be an attack on her faith.

Trolls.  They can be frightening. This woman discovered her online troll was “normal”.  Which is even scarier.  What compels a reasonable guy to do cruel things online?

I think KFC is trying to kill us.  Double Down Hot Dogs?  Come on now!

Here’s a cool breathing exercise to help you eliminate stress and wind down at bedtime. No wine required.

One of my favorite reads of the week: More than Beauty: Intuitive Painting as A Path to True Beauty from Chris Zydel.

Fascinating look at the inside of an abandoned house that is frozen in time. The pictures are phenomenal!

Scissors.  You don’t think much about them but use ‘em all the time, right?  Check out the Fiskars factory and learn about how they keep on innovating.  (PS they are located in Wisconsin!  REPRESENT!)

The forgotten history of how automakers invented the crime of jaywalking.  PS I jaywalk ALL the time!

Digging Heather Thorkelson’s Things You Shouldn’t Give A Shit About.  PREACH!

Wisdom from Paige Zaferiou: Dark Stick Shit Storm! How to Extract Lessons from Hardship.  This is uh-may-zing and so helpful!

Looking to get your business moving in the right direction? Tara Gentile will be opening the doors to her Quiet Power Strategy soon.  And she’s got a book coming out.  Squee!

Loving this look at an abandoned French chateau as it is getting renovated.  Oh to be going through that place!

Memo to self: write your obituary before you die and someone else writes a sexist, horrible one like this one.

I am finally retiring my beloved Tommy Hilfiger messenger bag after eleven years of faithful service. Although I have many purses, I always came back to this one because it was so well-made, cute as can be, and full of the right sorts of pockets.  I was in denial for a long time but one more rip of the inside fabric and it’s time.  I will be receiving my brand new Triangle Commuter Bag from abrAsus today and will let you know how it works out.  (PS I also found my much coveted Coach Rhyder Messenger bag in Metallic Bronze was on sale so snatched one of those up too!  FTW!)

I have fallen in love with Evernote.  It is SO useful.  I just got these: Moleskine Evernote Smart Notebook, Large, Ruled, Black, Hard Cover (5 x 8.25) (Evernote Smart Notebooks)and Moleskine Evernote Business Notebook with Smart Stickers, Large, Black, Hard Cover (5 x 8.25).  Super slick, works with Evernote, and stickers!

Next on my list: Post-it Note Holder, Evernote Collection, Quad (NH-654-EV4).  AFTER I use up all the other millions of sticky notes I have!  Ha!

My cat TaoZen thinks I need this book: How to Make Your Cat an Internet Celebrity: A Guide to Financial Freedom.  If I can figure out how to put that cat to work, it may have to happen.


What I’m Grateful For:


New purses

Art supplies

Hamsa pendants

Fresh sticky notes + journals



Soundtrack for 1/31/15: Boys Keep Swinging by David Bowie – my favorite gender-bender of all time.

Peace out,

© Theresa Reed | The Tarot Lady 2015

images from private collection 

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February Preview – I heart this month!

by Theresa Reed on January 29, 2015

february i heart this month

In case you didn’t guess, I’m an optimist.  Put me in any dark room and I guarantee that I’ll find the light.

I love to look at the sunny and fun side of life – which actually pisses some people off.

Whatever.  Life is too short to wallow in a personal crapfest.  I’d rather be like that dude in the picture above – dancing with the broom instead of sitting off on the sidelines, grumbling about not having a date.

I will keep dancing, always.

I am currently geeking out because January is almost over and that means one thing: winter is almost over!  Yeah, I know we got a couple more weeks to muddle through (darn you realists!) but February is sooooo short.  Wham bam thank you ma’am and buds will be bursting soon.

So what am I delivering this month?

Awesome content such as:

  • how to promote your tarot biz
  • gender bending in the tarot
  • why you should get your sweet tarot-loving self to a tarot conference this year
  • what cards indicate burnout
  • and what to do when a tarot client wants to talk about some heavy stuff….
  • and more!

I’m also chatting up a tarot storm with Steven Bright of Tiferet Tarot in my next Talkin’ Tarot With feature.  This mega-tarot-talent is one to get to know, trust me on that.

And while so many have been crying about Mercury retrograde, this busy bee has been behind the scenes revamping my Biz Mentoring services to include affordable email mentoring for spiritual entrepreneurs who are low on cash but really need a biz boost.  I’ve got yer back, friends.

I’ve also been creating a brand new offering that will be dropping on February 19th – just in time for the Chinese New Year.  (You’re so going to want this.)

And I’ve got another yummy surprise cooking up on my tarot grill for March.  But that one?  You’re gonna have to wait it out, yo.

February is short ‘n sweet but I’m long on delivering the goods.

Stay tuned,


© Theresa Reed | The Tarot Lady 2015

photo from flickr commons

PS Join me and a whole lot of other tarot lovers for The Tarot School’s annual Reader’s Studio. At this time, there are only 56 seats left.   I’ll be on the main stage along with Carrie Paris and Ellen Lorenzi-Prince!

Wanna learn to read tarot cards? Enter your email below and get your free Tarot Card by Card manual plus the Rookie To Reader e-course. These simple, super-fun lessons will get you reading tarot...even if you've never picked up a deck before!

I respect your email privacy

What to say to people who try to shake your tarot confidence

January 28, 2015

Tweet Every tarot reader, both newbie and pro, at one time may come across a person who wants to throw some shade. This could be a well-meaning loved one who doesn’t believe in tarot, a disgruntled client, an envious peer or just a tarot hater. So they make a snarky remark (often disguised as “advice”).  […]

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January 27, 2015

Tweet Weekly tarot tips, thoughts and tidbits for tarot enthusiasts and wannabe readers. Blessings! Theresa © Theresa Reed | The Tarot Lady 2015

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Soul Proprietor – Niche, Schmiche

January 26, 2015

Tweet   What’s your niche? You have to pick just one. Ever have coaches tell you that? I have. I was in a blogging class once where the teacher asked me who my audience was.  When I said mostly women age eighteen to sixty five who were interested in tarot and metaphysical business, she shook […]

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The Hit List – Full Circle

January 24, 2015

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Yo Mantra – Impact

January 23, 2015

Tweet   Yo Mantra: hip, playful (and sometimes profound) statements, mantras, and mojo-vation for modern mystics, seekers, and anyone who needs a little boost (or boom). Today’s Yo Mantra:  Don’t make a scene…make an IMPACT. Don’t make a scene…make an IMPACT. ~ @thetarotlady #yomantra Click To Tweet People + organizations making an impact: Peace is […]

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Gonzo Tarot – Whoa-whoa Feelings…

January 22, 2015

Tweet Wanna become a tarot gunslinger?  Ready to get quicker on the draw, more efficient and more badass?  Gonzo Tarot is a series of quirky and unorthodox Tarotcises designed to get you thinking on your feet, overcoming your fears and gaining mad tarot skillz so that you can read under any circumstances.  Join me and […]

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Reading Tarot for Famous People

January 21, 2015

Tweet Ever read tarot for a famous person? I’m not talking about “celebrity predictions”. If you want to do those, that’s up to you. I’m talking about a big time star coming to you for a tarot reading. For some tarot readers, that day may come.  If it never does, that’s perfectly fine. Your work is […]

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Tarot Tip 1/20/15

January 20, 2015

Tweet Weekly tarot tips, thoughts and tidbits for tarot enthusiasts and wannabe readers. Blessings! Theresa © Theresa Reed | The Tarot Lady 2015

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